Hi my name is Misty and I’m 37 years old. A couple months ago, my mom was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia. Up until about a year and a half ago, when my brothers and I first started noticing that something was wrong, my mom and I were so close. She was my best friend my entire life. My dad was never around so all I had is her to be my mom and my dad. Our close bond continued and remained Unbreakable, or so I thought. A couple weeks ago, she offered to buy my family and I dinner and so we all went out to eat and my boyfriend helped her swipe her card and pay for the dinner, when the payment was completed, he handed her back her debit card and she put it in her purse. And she is insisting that we stole her debit card and her ebt card. I’ve tried to talk to her and assure her that I would never steal from her or do anything to hurt her ever. But she is saying very hurtful things to me and it hurts so bad. I just want my Mama back. I don’t know what to do. I am so close to giving up on life altogether. I can’t handle not having a good relationship with my mom. I kept telling myself when she was first diagnosed that I will definitely not be able to handle when she forgets who I am, but this is worse.
I’m losing my relationship with my mom
- Thread starter MistyMarie86
- Start date
Welcome to the forum @MistyMarie86.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It really must be heartbreaking.
I wondered if she might have a urine infection. This can have a big impact on someone with dementia. If you can it might be an idea to see if you could get her checked out for this.
If you’re in the UK it also might be a good idea to call the Admiral Nurse helpline and talk things through with someone there.
www.dementiauk.org
Please keep posting here too -you’ll always find support and understanding here.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It really must be heartbreaking.
I wondered if she might have a urine infection. This can have a big impact on someone with dementia. If you can it might be an idea to see if you could get her checked out for this.
If you’re in the UK it also might be a good idea to call the Admiral Nurse helpline and talk things through with someone there.
What is an Admiral Nurse and how can they help?
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
www.dementiauk.org
Please keep posting here too -you’ll always find support and understanding here.
Your words of 'I just want my mama back' broke my heart and I know exactly how you feel.... I just want my lovely sister back too.
I think just try hard to remember it's the terrible disease that's made your mum say things that are totally out of character for her... Your mum I'm sure absolutely loved and still loves you.... I don't know how things will pan out but the relationship you had with your mum will always, always be special and that will never change. Take care of yourself.
Hi Misty @MistyMarie86
I am so sorry that you are going through such a distressing time with your mom. It’s very hard when someone you love starts saying hurtful things to you due to their illness. I think that’s true even when you know it’s happening because they are very unwell. We still feel terrible in the moments things are being said. It’s also heartbreaking that often no amount of reassurance and kindness can convince someone with dementia of the truth. Sadly that is part of the illness.
My mom has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. She went through a phase when she used to accuse me every single day of stealing her money. I was living with her at her home and looking after her at the time. I used to feel sad, frustrated and sometimes angry when this went on for hour after hour.
This phase has now passed and my mom very rarely accuses me now. She still sometimes says hurtful things, but far less often than she used to. Everyone with dementia is different, things change, but it’s impossible to be certain what will happen.
Your love for your mum, her love for you, and your life together are very precious. Your mom will always be part of you. Her illness cannot take that away from you.
Sending thoughts and best wishes.
I am so sorry that you are going through such a distressing time with your mom. It’s very hard when someone you love starts saying hurtful things to you due to their illness. I think that’s true even when you know it’s happening because they are very unwell. We still feel terrible in the moments things are being said. It’s also heartbreaking that often no amount of reassurance and kindness can convince someone with dementia of the truth. Sadly that is part of the illness.
My mom has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. She went through a phase when she used to accuse me every single day of stealing her money. I was living with her at her home and looking after her at the time. I used to feel sad, frustrated and sometimes angry when this went on for hour after hour.
This phase has now passed and my mom very rarely accuses me now. She still sometimes says hurtful things, but far less often than she used to. Everyone with dementia is different, things change, but it’s impossible to be certain what will happen.
Your love for your mum, her love for you, and your life together are very precious. Your mom will always be part of you. Her illness cannot take that away from you.
Sending thoughts and best wishes.
Similar threads
