Husband so very angry

[northumbrian_k]

In truth, if your husband is able to self-fund (you should not contribute from your own assets) it may be that social services will not do much. Although there is likely to be a delay, it would be worth asking for a needs assessment for him and a carer's assessment for yourself. These might help to clarify what is needed. You might then be in a position to contract for whatever is needed and available.

Getting him to accept help may be difficult at first.

Paying for dementia care in England

Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

All of this will be made easier if you have Power of Attorney for both property & finance and health & welfare. This assumes that he has capacity and is willing to set this up. My wife suggested doing hers when she realised that I was setting up mine. I did them using the online forms.

Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney

How to make a lasting power of attorney (LPA): starting an application online, choosing an attorney, certifying a copy, changing an LPA.

www.gov.uk

 

[silkiest]

Hi @Skylark/2 , if you have power of attorneys set up for health then the GP has to talk to you. If his is the only name on utilities you need to get them changed to both or have POA finance for them to talk to you.

If you do not then you can discuss POA when he is in a good mood - preparing for the future, we're both getting older etc. Think of who you want as attorneys - we have each other and then my son and daughter in law. If you put they have to act jointly then everyone has to agree/ be present to sort things out with various agencies which can cause huge problems - jointly and severally is easier for the attorneys. Once you have prepared the paperwork online then you could wait for another good day to get the papers signed and witnessed.
Are his moods worse in the afternoon ? Some PWD suffer from "sundowning" and are worse late afternoon/ evening - it might be easier to get things sorted earlier in the day.