Husband refusing to eat dinners

[Kevinl]

My wife used to so no at mealtimes, funny how if I could involve her, peel me a potato she would peel two, can you get me a plate from the cupboard she would get two, same with cutlery. Suddenly when the food was ready both plates, knives and forks were set out too and not by me and it all got eaten.
You have to learn to live on their world when they can no longer live in ours. K

 

[lol45]

My husband has vascular dementia and alzheimers. He hasn't eaten meat for 40 years but always enjoyed different sorts of fish and liked Quorn/Linda McCartney type vegetarian meals. He has never liked much in the way of vegetables. Lately he us refusing to eat more than a few mouthfuls of the food I've regularly cooked, I've tried Wiltshire Farm foods, ready meals from M&S, etc but most is ending up in the bin. He cannot tell me what he would eat. He eats his lunchtime sandwich, cheese, salmon, cream cheese, paste, etc so I'm wondering if I should just give him a different sandwich at dinnertime. He would happily eat cake and biscuits at any time of day. I would be grateful for any advice.

Lawrence my wife is just the same i do cut her food into small pieces which i find is better for her but she really only likes sandwiches and mousse and jelly which seems to suit her

 

[Umbrellal]

I am so glad to read so many with my food problems with my husband who has Alheimers I'm not alone.

 

[Kevinl]

I am so glad to read so many with my food problems with my husband who has Alheimers I'm not alone.

Never alone on here, always someone here to listen, type back or care. K

 

[Nicknot]

My husband has vascular dementia and alzheimers. He hasn't eaten meat for 40 years but always enjoyed different sorts of fish and liked Quorn/Linda McCartney type vegetarian meals. He has never liked much in the way of vegetables. Lately he us refusing to eat more than a few mouthfuls of the food I've regularly cooked, I've tried Wiltshire Farm foods, ready meals from M&S, etc but most is ending up in the bin. He cannot tell me what he would eat. He eats his lunchtime sandwich, cheese, salmon, cream cheese, paste, etc so I'm wondering if I should just give him a different sandwich at dinnertime. He would happily eat cake and biscuits at any time of day. I would be grateful for any advice.

My husband taste in food has changed too he has never liked sweet food but now would only eat sweets ice cream biscuits if I let him. He has also gone off lots of his favourite food. I think as long as he is getting a varied diet then let him have his sweet things as well
he never used to like Quiche but he loves Morrisons savers ones now, he was never keen on veg so I make him soup in my soup maker all veg and he loves them,pizza again never been keen but now enjoys some. It’s like he only likes quick easy food that only has a few parts too it rather than a full meal.

 

[Hesther]

Thanks for advice, I will go down the dinner sandwich route for now. It's often as though he doesn't have the energy to pick up a knife and fork or he can't work out what to pick up off the plate to eat and I imagine a sandwich in the hand is a much easier option .

My husband has also vascular dementia and is the same with food ‘ he doesn’t seem to like anything now and used to eat a lot ‘ he has also lost lots of weight he has ensure drinks and shake drinks but I don’t think they help much ‘ it’s really so hard nowing what to give him as he never no what he wants and seems to just pick at it and push it on the side of the plate it’s really hard nowing what to do

 

[Hesther]

My husband taste in food has changed too he has never liked sweet food but now would only eat sweets ice cream biscuits if I let him. He has also gone off lots of his favourite food. I think as long as he is getting a varied diet then let him have his sweet things as well
he never used to like Quiche but he loves Morrisons savers ones now, he was never keen on veg so I make him soup in my soup maker all veg and he loves them,pizza again never been keen but now enjoys some. It’s like he only likes quick easy food that only has a few parts too it rather than a full meal.

My husband has also vascular dementia and is the same with food ‘ he doesn’t seem to like anything now and used to eat a lot ‘ he has also lost lots of weight he has ensure drinks and shake drinks but I don’t think they help much ‘ it’s really so hard nowing what to give him as he never no what he wants and seems to just pick at it and push it on the side of the plate it’s really hard nowing what to do Heather

 

[Hesther]

My husband has also vascular dementia and is the same with food ‘ he doesn’t seem to like anything now and used to eat a lot ‘ he has also lost lots of weight he has ensure drinks and shake drinks but I don’t think they help much ‘ it’s really so hard nowing what to give him as he never no what he wants and seems to just pick at it and push it on the side of the plate it’s really hard nowing what to do

 

[Jojosbakes]

My husband has vascular dementia and alzheimers. He hasn't eaten meat for 40 years but always enjoyed different sorts of fish and liked Quorn/Linda McCartney type vegetarian meals. He has never liked much in the way of vegetables. Lately he us refusing to eat more than a few mouthfuls of the food I've regularly cooked, I've tried Wiltshire Farm foods, ready meals from M&S, etc but most is ending up in the bin. He cannot tell me what he would eat. He eats his lunchtime sandwich, cheese, salmon, cream cheese, paste, etc so I'm wondering if I should just give him a different sandwich at dinnertime. He would happily eat cake and biscuits at any time of day. I would be grateful for any advice.

 

[Craftyfarmerswife]

It’s so reassuring to read all the comments, as my mum , who has Alzheimer’s, also prefers to eat crisps and chocolate biscuits rather than a cooked meal or even a sandwich. She even gets herself packets of crisps and biscuits throughout the night. Thank you everyone for your help and tips.

 

[steph122]

My wife has Alzheimer's and I have found, due to her inability to process information I don't ask her questions or give her a choice because she becomes confused and anxious.

 

[Tricia70]

My husband has vascular dementia and alzheimers. He hasn't eaten meat for 40 years but always enjoyed different sorts of fish and liked Quorn/Linda McCartney type vegetarian meals. He has never liked much in the way of vegetables. Lately he us refusing to eat more than a few mouthfuls of the food I've regularly cooked, I've tried Wiltshire Farm foods, ready meals from M&S, etc but most is ending up in the bin. He cannot tell me what he would eat. He eats his lunchtime sandwich, cheese, salmon, cream cheese, paste, etc so I'm wondering if I should just give him a different sandwich at dinnertime. He would happily eat cake and biscuits at any time of day. I would be grateful for any advice.

Maybe small meals which are easy to pick up to eat rather than a cooked meal. It’s quite difficult to make sure that they are getting enough nutrition. Try the sandwich route with a few bits of fresh fruit

 

[scotlass]

my OH has porridge for breakfast followed by coffee and kitkat...he has kitkats hidden everywhere...sometimes he even offers me one...and he likes when I bake...he used to like pizza, but he's gone off that now...he still likes potatoes mince and veg....but a smaller amount now...I agree with one of the other posts, with this disease just let them have something they enjoy....

 

[MPR]

We are just the same, would eat biscuits and chocolate 24/7 but try getting him to eat a meal. GP view was a few years ago we’d have worried about the sugar but he has an awful disease that can only get worse, let him have what makes him happy. So mainly I do. The cutting things up and leaving them works quite well, cheese, biscuits, grapes, fruit and nuts. As with others, I won’t eat all that, them there is an empty plate. I use a very big dark plate and spread everything around. A red one is best apparently, something to do with the brain, hence the desire for ketchup!

That explains the ketchup! My OH never had a sweet tooth, but now eats sweet potato fries with really lots of ketchup pretty much every day. As everyone says, I do what works. Not written here before, but often read. Usually saddened by how much worse it is for so many in this forum (and presumably how much worse it will be for us down the line…) We’re managing by visiting our local park every day (now with wheelchair) and driving round for about an hour each afternoon. OH sleeps most of the morning. Then there’s sundown and trying to find something that will occupy us on TV. Gave up playing cards and reading is difficult. As is speaking. Like so many here, I do get tired. Prayers for all.

 

[Chizz]

That explains the ketchup! My OH never had a sweet tooth, but now eats sweet potato fries with really lots of ketchup pretty much every day. As everyone says, I do what works. Not written here before, but often read. Usually saddened by how much worse it is for so many in this forum (and presumably how much worse it will be for us down the line…) We’re managing by visiting our local park every day (now with wheelchair) and driving round for about an hour each afternoon. OH sleeps most of the morning. Then there’s sundown and trying to find something that will occupy us on TV. Gave up playing cards and reading is difficult. As is speaking. Like so many here, I do get tired. Prayers for all.

I feel for you.
Keep doing as much as you can whilst you can.
Unfortunately, the window passes.
You can only do what you can do
Best wishes & a virtual hug.

 

[Shem56]

I have found this last few weeks my o/h is leaving more food than he eats. I have reduced portions and don't give him full on roast dinners or heavy meals anymore. He even leaves a sandwich, has 2 bites and then leaves it. Yesterday, i made a small chopped up salad, which he could eat with a spoon and he enjoyed it. He asked me later on when he was having his tea! Going for a meal out is hard work as he complains about everything. His plate is cold, his sandwich is cold etc etc. Its all a learning curve but he wont have Ensure drinks as he doesn't like the taste. He struggles with a knife and fork so I do try to make his food spoon friendly. What other joys have we got to look forward to as this is a deterioration and what can I expect next!

 

[sue31]

I have found this last few weeks my o/h is leaving more food than he eats. I have reduced portions and don't give him full on roast dinners or heavy meals anymore. He even leaves a sandwich, has 2 bites and then leaves it. Yesterday, i made a small chopped up salad, which he could eat with a spoon and he enjoyed it. He asked me later on when he was having his tea! Going for a meal out is hard work as he complains about everything. His plate is cold, his sandwich is cold etc etc. Its all a learning curve but he wont have Ensure drinks as he doesn't like the taste. He struggles with a knife and fork so I do try to make his food spoon friendly. What other joys have we got to look forward to as this is a deterioration and what can I expect next!

Have you asked for the fruit juice Ensure? - far more palatable rather than the thick plaster like ones. I thought they were vile when my mother was given those so wasn’t surprised she refused.

 

[Shem56]

Have you asked for the fruit juice Ensure? - far more palatable rather than the thick plaster like ones. I thought they were vile when my mother was given those so wasn’t surprised she refused.

I havent but will do thank you.

 

[sue31]

I havent but will do thank you.

Maybe ask them for a mixed flavour case.

 

[sue2108]

My husband has vascular dementia and alzheimers. He hasn't eaten meat for 40 years but always enjoyed different sorts of fish and liked Quorn/Linda McCartney type vegetarian meals. He has never liked much in the way of vegetables. Lately he us refusing to eat more than a few mouthfuls of the food I've regularly cooked, I've tried Wiltshire Farm foods, ready meals from M&S, etc but most is ending up in the bin. He cannot tell me what he would eat. He eats his lunchtime sandwich, cheese, salmon, cream cheese, paste, etc so I'm wondering if I should just give him a different sandwich at dinnertime. He would happily eat cake and biscuits at any time of day. I would be grateful for any advice.

This is my husband too. I’m learning to give him much smaller amounts, in a bowl usually with a spoon. Or finger food like with toddlers. If I ask him if he wants anything he will say no so I don’t ask any more. He likes cheese on toast fingers, sandwiches, pieces of apple or pear sliced thinly.
I often do a stir fry with chicken and always add an egg or two. Nothing spicy any more or even tasty to be honest. I often make my meal separately as he doesn’t seem to notice what I’m eating.

He too would eat biscuits and his “sweeties” all day given the chance and will take himself off to the shop to buy more if we’ve run out.
The advice I was given was not to worry about where he gets his calories from.
Hope that helps x