Husband recently died from effects of dementia

[Helen57]

My husband died recently from the effects of dementia. He suffered so much from the disease. I find it so difficult now when I hear the phrase "living with dementia" when it really is a cruel disease. it feels like we are denying the suffering.
My feelings at present are that I am so pleased for him that he is free from the terrible suffering. I have a faith and so did he, so I know he is in Heaven and free from all pain and suffering.
I cannot cry, for I am pleased for him. I do feel deeply sad, at my loss and his last few years which were haunted with the difficulties dementia causes. But I cannot undo those and just have to feel thankful now. And look at all the good he did. He taught me and others to love in the darkness, to love in-spite of the challenges. To show our feeling of care and support very clearly. I loved him so very much and just hope he knows that and all is well.

 

[Angela61]

My husband died recently from the effects of dementia. He suffered so much from the disease. I find it so difficult now when I hear the phrase "living with dementia" when it really is a cruel disease. it feels like we are denying the suffering.
My feelings at present are that I am so pleased for him that he is free from the terrible suffering. I have a faith and so did he, so I know he is in Heaven and free from all pain and suffering.
I cannot cry, for I am pleased for him. I do feel deeply sad, at my loss and his last few years which were haunted with the difficulties dementia causes. But I cannot undo those and just have to feel thankful now. And look at all the good he did. He taught me and others to love in the darkness, to love in-spite of the challenges. To show our feeling of care and support very clearly. I loved him so very much and just hope he knows that and all is well.

Cindolences to you Helen57. Your husband is at peace now.

 

[Jale]

Condolences for your loss of your husband @Helen57, I feel sure that he knew, and knows how much you loved him. Take care x

 

[Gosling]

@Helen57 you have written a beautiful and moving account of the pain and suffering that dementia brings, along with a clear and loving account of how you supported your husband. I'm very moved by what you have written.
You are right, your husband is at peace now, and I hope you will now take your own time to grieve his loss.

 

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry for your loss @Helen57. I’m glad your husband is now at peace and I wish you strength for the days and weeks to come.

 

[pobbie1959]

My husband also died recently, my emotions are very mixed. He was so ill for such a long time that I actually grieved for him way before he died, I only saw glimpses of the man I once knew, he had physcosis over christmas and took a long time to get back to anything like 'normal', they were very frightening times for both of us and I knew the time was coming that he would have to go into full time care (which I really didnt want),
in the end he actually ended up in hospital with a blood clot, went on blood thinners, came home for three days then collapsed at home with a brain bleed. The last night before he died it was like he was excited, he kept wanting a hug and thanking me for everything i'd done for him, I really hope he has now found peace.
It is the most devastating illness. Those of you still going though this don't be frightened to ask for help, I'm lucky that my family were very supportive and they would sit with him whilst I had time out, I dont know how I would've coped without that help.

 

[SkyeD]

Sorry to hear your sad news @Helen57 and sad to hear yours too @pobbie1959
S x

 

[Izzy]

How terribly poignant @pobbie1959. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending my condolences and wishing you strength.

 

[mojogirl]

My husband died recently from the effects of dementia. He suffered so much from the disease. I find it so difficult now when I hear the phrase "living with dementia" when it really is a cruel disease. it feels like we are denying the suffering.
My feelings at present are that I am so pleased for him that he is free from the terrible suffering. I have a faith and so did he, so I know he is in Heaven and free from all pain and suffering.
I cannot cry, for I am pleased for him. I do feel deeply sad, at my loss and his last few years which were haunted with the difficulties dementia causes. But I cannot undo those and just have to feel thankful now. And look at all the good he did. He taught me and others to love in the darkness, to love in-spite of the challenges. To show our feeling of care and support very clearly. I loved him so very much and just hope he knows that and all is well.

hi helen
appreciate your post...i lost my husband to dementia almost 2 years ago...you are so right when you say living with dementia....they are not living at all...i also have a strong faith as did my husband....in the dark days it brings some peace...however i believe he should have been allowed to die with dignity...we all feel differently on such things...the last year he was alive physically was incredibly sad for me and our girls...Death is part of life...but i dont believe we should be kept alive in every circumstance...Our God is merciful...so this should be a factor during this awful journey...thankyou for your insights

 

[T1000]

@Helen57 these hollow words I know but I am so sorry, I cannot imagine your pain having been through that and witnessing his suffering. He is at peace now.

@pobbie1959 I am sorry, it sounds like you had a wonderful cuddle the night before which at times may help you get through that moment of grief and there are so many onslaughts