I know how you are feeling because it is a cruel illness and I struggle to cope with the sadness and the grief of watching and witnessing my lovely husband of 53 years becoming more and more confused. It is such a lonely journey and each day a new pitfall seems to occur which is like a body blow to me. I wish I could be nice and patient but I lose control so often and then feel so dreadful when I see him looking sad. can someone tell me the answer or have i just turned into a horrible person.