I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this
@Jackson1.
My husband was also diagnosed young, just a couple of days after his 58th birthday.
We were fortunate in many ways - not least because my husband immediately accepted the diagnosis and was relieved to know why he was no longer coping as he once had - and that helped me because I didn't have to face the denial and anger that so many in this situation go through.
That's not to say it wasn't challenging in its own way. As you have said, the person can look perfectly fine and as such, so many people do not understand what we or our loved one are all going through.
The other fortunate thing was that for the first four years the disease was relatively slow moving. Yes, there were blips here and there, but for the most part we were able to live a reasonably ok existence, albeit bashed financially by the fact that my husband had to retire on his works pension and I had to gradually reduce my working hours over the years as his needs increased.
What helped me was the information and support I received (and am still receiving) from TP; getting us out and about to as many of the activities we'd enjoyed pre-diagnosis as we could (holidays, coach trips, meals, theatre, cinema, social events etc). However, we also made changes by joining groups which did understand the disease - in fact we were lucky to have a variety of options including several memory cafes, a library based memory group, and a fun choir.
I didn't want our lives to revolve around nothing but the diagnosis of dementia, so it was important to maintain a normal and balanced life for as long as we could with a foot in both the pre-diagnosis life and post-diagnosis life so that as things progressed we would not be left floundering.
We are now six years into the diagnosis and my husband is in the last stages of the disease. Our lives have changed greatly over the years, our relationship has been tested beyond measure at times but I feel closer to him now than I ever have.
Lately, I often look back and remember with happiness the things we were able to do for as long as we did - and yes, I often wonder how we managed to get this far when I recall the more challenging times too.
All I can advise is try not to dwell on every single change you see or constantly look for the next one, note them and make changes as and when necessary, but don't let the diagnosis rule your lives.
Concentrate on what can still be done rather than what can't, prepare, offload or ask advice here on TP whenever you need to (there is always someone who has gone/is going through a similar situation and it helps so much to know we are not alone).
I wish you both strength and understanding as you go forward.