Husband had MCA Stroke (right side) since 06

[faithy]

Hi All,
Just needed a safe place to talk. My husband Tom has been in a NH (thank God a great one) for the last 4*years - Tom's dementia has gotten worse over the last 6* years - although he amazes me - at times he is so clear, and at others not so much. I visit him 4-5 times a week, I still work full time, Tom had his stroke at 56. He was in tremendous shape, he had a huge kidney stone, which let to sepsis within 2 months and he had the stroke in the hospital when they operated on his clavicle (abscess). if he wasn't in such good shape he would have passed. We have been together since we were both 15, grew up together, graduated together, went through everything together, and I am still not used to being alone without him in the house. Some days are easier than others, some are unbearable. Hang in there, your not alone.

 

[Jo1958]

Faithy, hello and a very warm welcome to Talking Point from me

Well done you for choosing a great NH for your Tom, it does make the most enormous difference if we are happy with the care our partners are getting.

Your journey sounds to have been a hard one and there is more of the journey to come, I look forward to sharing with you in the future here on TP.
with kind regards from Jo

 

[faithy]

thank you so much

Faithy, hello and a very warm welcome to Talking Point from me

Well done you for choosing a great NH for your Tom, it does make the most enormous difference if we are happy with the care our partners are getting.

Your journey sounds to have been a hard one and there is more of the journey to come, I look forward to sharing with you in the future here on TP.
with kind regards from Jo

It has been a rough weekend - Tom used to get up around 6-630 he cannnot anymore - he has been getting up between 8-815 - but as soon as 115 rolls around he looks for his aide, and starts crying because he gets so anxious (even with the extra adtivan) - his stroke arm is all scraped up because he keeps hitting it when he goes through the doorway, and he is leaning more and more towards his stroke side - I feel so bad for him, and yet I know I am powerless thanks for being here

 

[Izzy]

Oh Faithy how terribly sad. I'm so sorry to read about your situation. I'm glad you've found TP. There's always someone here to chat and help out. Take care. x

 

[faithy]

Thank You

Oh Faithy how terribly sad. I'm so sorry to read about your situation. I'm glad you've found TP. There's always someone here to chat and help out. Take care. x

The support I get here is overwhelming! You brits know how to do it right

 

[faithy]

Oh Faithy how terribly sad. I'm so sorry to read about your situation. I'm glad you've found TP. There's always someone here to chat and help out. Take care. x

I love this site and the people that I have spoken to, thanks for your help!

 

[acacia]

So sorry for your heartbreaking situation. I have found Talking Point so helpful and such alot of good invaluable advice. I live in Spain so its so reassuring, to hear from others in my situation. Please continue to post there are so many people that can offer advice. Best Wishes Acacia.

 

[faithy]

So sorry for your heartbreaking situation. I have found Talking Point so helpful and such alot of good invaluable advice. I live in Spain so its so reassuring, to hear from others in my situation. Please continue to post there are so many people that can offer advice. Best Wishes Acacia.

Thank you all for the wonderful and warm wishes

 

[faithy]

Oh Faithy how terribly sad. I'm so sorry to read about your situation. I'm glad you've found TP. There's always someone here to chat and help out. Take care. x

Not sure how I missed your post Izzy, thank you! And I hope I can support you all also.

 

[Izzy]

Not sure how I missed your post Izzy, thank you! And I hope I can support you all also.

Thank you Faithy. That's what TP is all about!

 

[Margaret938]

Hello Faithy
Just read your thread, I am so sorry you have had to go through so much for so long, and so young. I can sympathise with you, my husband has only been in a CH (also very good) since April and I miss him so much all the time, I visit him every afternoon and spend 3 hours with him, it is never long enough. Welcome to TP, you will make lots of friends here, I have, and there is always someone to give good advice.
love Margaret x

 

[faithy]

Hello Faithy
Just read your thread, I am so sorry you have had to go through so much for so long, and so young. I can sympathise with you, my husband has only been in a CH (also very good) since April and I miss him so much all the time, I visit him every afternoon and spend 3 hours with him, it is never long enough. Welcome to TP, you will make lots of friends here, I have, and there is always someone to give good advice.
love Margaret x

Hello Margaret, and thank you for your support-there are alot of great people on here and I have received great advice and warm welcomes since joining, from people just like you hope I can do half as much while I am on my journey with my husband Tom.
right back at ya, love Faith

 

[faithy]

Feeling Guilty - and Ashamed of my Behavior

So I spoke to Tom this morning, and I am feeling rather guilty - after a roller coaster two weeks, (last week being the worse) He sounds good today! And I was rather irritated that he did - God forgive me. My life for the last two weeks, have been hell worrying about him, riding the roller coaster - and I actually was mad because he sounded good today! I have to compose myself and realize that yes, he will have good days and really bad days, and like I said in the past, I wouldn't want to be in his head, it is much worse for him than me..but along with caring for him, even though he is in a NH, I bring him his snacks, visit 4-5 days a week - wash his clothes (NH tend to lose clothes), worry about losing the house, etc.....and working 40 hours a week - I know poor me but I am usually fine with this, as he is in a safe place.. does anyone else go through this?

If this needs to go in a new thread - please move for me,
Thanks!

 

[Izzy]

Not poor me at all. Quite understandable that you feel this way. xx

 

[faithy]

Not poor me at all. Quite understandable that you feel this way. xx

Thanks Izzy,

As I come to this forum for answers (certainly the doctors don't help) understanding and companionship, which I totally get!, noone can understand what we are going through - or our spouses - It is an evil growth this dementia, which has me perplexed every day, or every hour - It tricks me into thinking my spouse is ok, and then once I relax, it pulls the rug out from under me..and my heart sinks and is broken all over again...I would give anything to have my Tom back and one day of a normal life that seems so far in the distance, it is a fainting memory -