My wife's hygiene and toilet habits are getting worse. She is not incontinent but is increasingly confused about how to use the toilet and wash herself, and hostile to the idea that I might assist her in any way. Soiled clothing and frequent changes are becoming more common.
I managed to get her to change into a clean set of clothes this morning (having worn yesterday’s clothes in bed). Her knickers and trousers were soiled but not excessively. Later, after she had been sitting in the kitchen whilst the hairdresser was here, I noticed staining on the (faux leather) chair. Closer inspection and cleaning showed this to be faeces that had come through her trousers. I encouraged her to undress again and to clean herself in the toilet before putting on another clean pair of knickers and trousers. I’m not sure how successful this was.
Dealing with this problem is becoming very difficult for both of us. I don’t want to go down the route of incontinence products yet if this can be avoided. I know that this would be distressing for her and challenging for me. I am rather hoping that by finding her a place in residential care the sensitive task of keeping her clean will stop being my responsibility. I don’t think that I’m being selfish, just acknowledging that I am no longer able to cope on my own. Knowing one's own limits is important and I feel that I am nearing mine ...
I managed to get her to change into a clean set of clothes this morning (having worn yesterday’s clothes in bed). Her knickers and trousers were soiled but not excessively. Later, after she had been sitting in the kitchen whilst the hairdresser was here, I noticed staining on the (faux leather) chair. Closer inspection and cleaning showed this to be faeces that had come through her trousers. I encouraged her to undress again and to clean herself in the toilet before putting on another clean pair of knickers and trousers. I’m not sure how successful this was.
Dealing with this problem is becoming very difficult for both of us. I don’t want to go down the route of incontinence products yet if this can be avoided. I know that this would be distressing for her and challenging for me. I am rather hoping that by finding her a place in residential care the sensitive task of keeping her clean will stop being my responsibility. I don’t think that I’m being selfish, just acknowledging that I am no longer able to cope on my own. Knowing one's own limits is important and I feel that I am nearing mine ...