Hubble bubble toilet trouble

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Prof’s wife, thanks for your comment. This indeed is what has happened in the intervening period since I first started this thread. My wife has been in a care home since May 2019 and - despite interruption due to Covid - this has proved a good solution for both of us. She is kept safe and looked after 24 hours a day in a way that was beyond me. She seems content and pleased to see me when I visit. We don't do much more than eat goodies, have a laugh and listen to music. But it is quality time together that had become almost lost when I was her drudge and sole carer.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Thanks @Greenway All that is behind me (no pun intended) since I handed over my wife's daily and nightly care needs to the staff in her care home.

For anyone dealing with similar issues (again no pun) your suggestion may be of great help. That's the great benefit of sharing our experiences of what works and what doesn't via these forums.

 

[Dutchman]

I just want to say that what is obvious, throughout all these posts about caring for someone with incontinence, is the normality of loving care given to our love ones. It’s not a “given” that we naturally deal with this intimate procedure as many would be too squeamish to last long.

We get on with it out of love as best we can until we, again with love, let the professionals care where we can’t anymore.

 

[annieka 56]

My wife's hygiene and toilet habits are getting worse. She is not incontinent but is increasingly confused about how to use the toilet and wash herself, and hostile to the idea that I might assist her in any way. Soiled clothing and frequent changes are becoming more common.

I managed to get her to change into a clean set of clothes this morning (having worn yesterday’s clothes in bed). Her knickers and trousers were soiled but not excessively. Later, after she had been sitting in the kitchen whilst the hairdresser was here, I noticed staining on the (faux leather) chair. Closer inspection and cleaning showed this to be faeces that had come through her trousers. I encouraged her to undress again and to clean herself in the toilet before putting on another clean pair of knickers and trousers. I’m not sure how successful this was.

Dealing with this problem is becoming very difficult for both of us. I don’t want to go down the route of incontinence products yet if this can be avoided. I know that this would be distressing for her and challenging for me. I am rather hoping that by finding her a place in residential care the sensitive task of keeping her clean will stop being my responsibility. I don’t think that I’m being selfish, just acknowledging that I am no longer able to cope on my own. Knowing one's own limits is important and I feel that I am nearing mine ...

 

[annieka 56]

I just want to say that what is obvious, throughout all these posts about caring for someone with incontinence, is the normality of loving care given to our love ones. It’s not a “given” that we naturally deal with this intimate procedure as many would be too squeamish to last long.

We get on with it out of love as best we can until we, again with love, let the professionals care where we can’t anymore.

 

[annieka 56]

Very true, we all have our limits.
I have family members who are or have been nurses.
I admire them hugely.
I am finding everything to do with bowel incontinence really really difficult.
it's taken over our daily life really.
if we all had a wet room or an en suite bathroom it might be easier but when you don't and you have a 13 stone husband who has just pood on the bedroom floor it's not easy to get him to the old fashioned bathroom to sort him out.
If I could have all our upstairs carpets removed and have washable flooring put down, I would.