Hi Jean1234
I decided I had an imaginary switch that if turned on turned me into 'robot' me.
The robot had a fixed smile, and a distance from what was going on - robot didn't have feelings so was in neutral mode and had no need or inclination to respond emotionally, robot just got on with what needed to be done. Robot had hearing circuits that filtered out what didn't need to be heard, so didn't respond, or if robot did then the response was automatic and repetitive and short and neutral (remember robot is smiling).
You get the idea.
Don't get me wrong - I wasn't in robot mode most of the time, just when I needed that switch to take me away. It meant that I didn't get so uptight - it kind of gave me permission not to be emotional, not to have to engage with dad's outbursts (included getting guilty for whatever!).
I also would leave the room and do a chore, make a cuppa, have a game of patience, go out into the garden ... just for a while.
And, I have a song that I sing in my head if all gets too much, or I have to do a nasty task (a clean up ... ). No-one knows I'm singing it so no-one knows I'm not paying full attention. I find if I'm singing it in my head, it calms me down, distracts me just enough from what's going on and the words give me good advice. My song is a hymn but it could be anything eg Let it be by Beatles, These boots are made for walkin', What a wonderful world ....
Now I'm wondering whether I should post this - the 'robot' sounds a bit weird???