Hello all, I wonder if anyone can help with some suggestions, or at least help me get my thoughts straight. My wife's mother is 78 and has been losing her memory and judgement over the past couple of years. She is physically very fit and has not visited a doctor or dentist for over 40 years. She walks for miles, eats like a horse and is never under the weather. Her main problems are that her memory is now very poor (she still recognises her neighbours and those relatives she she's regularly) but forgets a conversation immediately after finishing it. This does not prevent her from having a strong will, however. She can't handle money, turns off and unplugs all appliances (fridge, radio etc) and has recently turned up ten miles from home, lost and confused. If left to her own devices, she does not wash or change her clothes and lives on custard creme biscuits. Her son lives in the same town, and has been fantastic, providing daily care and organising her house in a way that allows her to stay at home. My wife and I live 300 miles away, and can only visit as time allows. My wife wants to do her share, but her mother refuses point blank to come to visit or leave her home, so we can only help when we visit for the weekend or during holidays. I don't think that we could manage her outside of her home surroundings anyway, she'd be confused and hazardous. My wife is very caring and is desperate to find a way she can help. I'm getting involved to try to work out the best way forward. My concern is that her son can not continue to provide daily care 365/365, and we need to organise some sort of professional local care to lend a hand, at least on a respite basis. I am going to request a Community Care Assessment as realise that is a step we have to go through, but my experience of social services is that they are OK if you need meals on wheels or home help, but very poor at providing flexible 'supervsion' type of care. Neighbours are kind and keep an eye on my mother in law to an extent, but we need committed and reliable assistance. If she was physically frail, residential care would be the obvious path, but while she's fit we want to keep her in her own home for as long as we can. Is there any agency who could help us to find a personal and adaptable home care regime to support during those periods when the family can't ? We've contacted the GP, but they are very busy, and as she is not physically ill, they offer no help. She has not been 'formally' diagnosed as having dementia to my knowledge, although power of attorney etc is in place. If anyone has experience of a similar situation I'd love to hear about it. Our situation seems a lot less acute than many of the situations I've read about on this board, but it is still a fraught and delicate one for us to manage. Thanks for any advice. M.