I'd be grateful for any tips about how to make sure mum isn't scammed financially, and also how to deal with her confusion over finance.
The situation is that mum is in the early stages of dementia, currently still living on her own, with minimal day-care (30 mins a day agency carer, plus a responsible and trusted cleaner for 4 hours a week). My brother has poa for her, and he monitors and manages her bank account online; however she still has a cheque book, credit card and debit card.
The reason I don't have poa is that I lived abroad for several years and only returned last year, but I've always advised her on investments, and I'm satisfied that the bulk of her savings are not accessible to scammers. At the moment, there are several thousand in her current account.
Mum's ability to deal with figures has been the first thing to go. In fact it was what alerted us to her dementia, since she had always been financially quite acute.
The situation has thrown up a number of problems. The first is with mum's cash withdrawals. She used to draw out large sums of cash, to pay her cleaner, gardener etc. Nowadays my brother pays them by bank transfer. But mum continues to take substantial amounts of cash out (£100 every so often) and we can't account for it. Mum claims to still be paying her cleaner with it, but we know this isn't true. I should emphasise that there is no question at all of the cleaner ripping mum off, she is absolutely trustworthy. Mum also forgets some cash withdrawals that we know have taken place. Mum does squirrel things away, then forget where they are, and I suspect there are several caches of cash in the house somewhere.
Secondly, mum's confusion over money has resulted in some paranoia on her part. Mum has accused her cleaner of stealing. Just accept my word for it on this, for many, many reasons I'm sure the cleaner is honest! Mum has also claimed the cleaner is breaking her china (despite all pieces of the dinner service being counted and undamaged), and that the cleaner is in love with my brother.
Last week she went shopping in Tesco and something happened. We aren't sure exactly what, but she was very distressed afterwards. She seems to have got to the till and then forgotten how to pay/ could not find her cards/ could not recognise her cards/ did not actually have her purse with her. Something like that. She is supposed to do her shopping with her cleaner in the afternoon, not in the morning on her own.
Finally, it is difficult to persuade her to spend money on her care. She is obsessed with leaving as much money to me and my bro as possible and doesn't want her capital to be eaten up in care charges. The latest manifestation of this has been her refusal to pay for a care home over Christmas. The plan was for my bro and his partner to bring mum to a care home near me for four days from 23rd Dec. Then we'd collect her each day and that way we'd get to have a family Xmas, all together. But she cut up rough about the cost of the care home, so in the end we agreed that she'd stay at home and my bro would visit on Xmas day and cook a meal. Christmas ruined for all of us!
As soon as she got her own way, she insisted on giving 'Xmas presents' to me and bro equivalent to the amount she would have spent on the home. Really annoying. We can't get through to her that our priority is making sure she is well cared for, rather than inheriting as much as we can.
Sorry this is turning into a ramble...
Anyway, I've advised my bro to move as much cash as possible from mum's current account and stow it in a savings acc. that she can't access instantly. Also he is to try to persuade her to get a dual signature cheque book. We don't want to force changes on her that give her the feeling that she is losing control so both these steps will need her agreement.
Any other tips?
The situation is that mum is in the early stages of dementia, currently still living on her own, with minimal day-care (30 mins a day agency carer, plus a responsible and trusted cleaner for 4 hours a week). My brother has poa for her, and he monitors and manages her bank account online; however she still has a cheque book, credit card and debit card.
The reason I don't have poa is that I lived abroad for several years and only returned last year, but I've always advised her on investments, and I'm satisfied that the bulk of her savings are not accessible to scammers. At the moment, there are several thousand in her current account.
Mum's ability to deal with figures has been the first thing to go. In fact it was what alerted us to her dementia, since she had always been financially quite acute.
The situation has thrown up a number of problems. The first is with mum's cash withdrawals. She used to draw out large sums of cash, to pay her cleaner, gardener etc. Nowadays my brother pays them by bank transfer. But mum continues to take substantial amounts of cash out (£100 every so often) and we can't account for it. Mum claims to still be paying her cleaner with it, but we know this isn't true. I should emphasise that there is no question at all of the cleaner ripping mum off, she is absolutely trustworthy. Mum also forgets some cash withdrawals that we know have taken place. Mum does squirrel things away, then forget where they are, and I suspect there are several caches of cash in the house somewhere.
Secondly, mum's confusion over money has resulted in some paranoia on her part. Mum has accused her cleaner of stealing. Just accept my word for it on this, for many, many reasons I'm sure the cleaner is honest! Mum has also claimed the cleaner is breaking her china (despite all pieces of the dinner service being counted and undamaged), and that the cleaner is in love with my brother.
Last week she went shopping in Tesco and something happened. We aren't sure exactly what, but she was very distressed afterwards. She seems to have got to the till and then forgotten how to pay/ could not find her cards/ could not recognise her cards/ did not actually have her purse with her. Something like that. She is supposed to do her shopping with her cleaner in the afternoon, not in the morning on her own.
Finally, it is difficult to persuade her to spend money on her care. She is obsessed with leaving as much money to me and my bro as possible and doesn't want her capital to be eaten up in care charges. The latest manifestation of this has been her refusal to pay for a care home over Christmas. The plan was for my bro and his partner to bring mum to a care home near me for four days from 23rd Dec. Then we'd collect her each day and that way we'd get to have a family Xmas, all together. But she cut up rough about the cost of the care home, so in the end we agreed that she'd stay at home and my bro would visit on Xmas day and cook a meal. Christmas ruined for all of us!
As soon as she got her own way, she insisted on giving 'Xmas presents' to me and bro equivalent to the amount she would have spent on the home. Really annoying. We can't get through to her that our priority is making sure she is well cared for, rather than inheriting as much as we can.
Sorry this is turning into a ramble...
Anyway, I've advised my bro to move as much cash as possible from mum's current account and stow it in a savings acc. that she can't access instantly. Also he is to try to persuade her to get a dual signature cheque book. We don't want to force changes on her that give her the feeling that she is losing control so both these steps will need her agreement.
Any other tips?
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