How to get help for 95 year old living alone

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by dfx, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. dfx

    dfx Registered User

    Jan 21, 2013

    I have an Aunt who lives alone a long way from myself. She has no children, there's just my cousin who lives a couple of hours away who sees her once a week. She recently had a minor operation for stones as she was in great pain. The pain is over but apparently her dementia has become terrible, she keeps asking where she is and is convinced she is in another town a long way from her. My cousin has been trying to get help from social services, but says she just gets passed from one person to another without making any progress. What should we be doing to get her into care?
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi dfx
    I'd contact social services and report her as a "vulnerable adult", say this isn't the first time they've been contacted about her and as for an urgent adult assessment to be done. I would also mention the recent operation and remind them of that reactions to anaesthetic can cause a sudden decline in those with dementia, be firm but don't take no for an answer and ask for the name of the person you're speaking to so you can contact them again.
  3. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    She should be able to have re-ablement services for 4 or 6 weeks post hospital admission which I would push for as you try and get care sorted for her. Its likely the anaesthetic has worsened her dementia and hopefully it may improve a bit.

    Others will advise re. finding a home but keep pushing SS as much as possible.

    Best wishes
  4. Pegsdaughter

    Pegsdaughter Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    I would also tell them she has no family etc living close by.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  5. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    I agree with Kevin :)

    I would also say, give some thought to how much time and energy you can each give to supporting your aunt. Getting her into care is likely to be a complex and time-consuming process, and it does not have to be either of you who organises it. Obviously take reponsibility if you want to.....but if you can't or don't want to, this becomes Social Services' responsibility.

    Also do you know who your aunt's GP is? If so, perhaps a call to them expressing your concerns would be a good idea. Then they can push things with SS.

    Good luck :)

    Lindy xx

    PS She may not need to go into care as such if care at home meets her needs
  6. dfx

    dfx Registered User

    Jan 21, 2013
    Thanks. I've done as you said. After pressing all the different buttons to choose which service, I finally got through to someone. At least it sounded like someone but felt like a brick wall. I couldn't help getting upset on the phone when she said that the team responsable had been averted and an assessement is being planned. I said that I'd phoned my cousin the weekend to find that a neighbour had called the ambulance when she found my aunt on the floor having fallen in a corridor. The next day, she had fallen in the flat and had to crawl to the telephone to get help. I ended up saying that the situation was urgent and if she could not give me more detailed information, I felt I would have no other choice than to phone the police. I realise that calling the police may be useless but it least it got me the promise that the person on the phone would get more information and phone me back. I'm going to wait another couple of hours max.
    There doesn't seem to be an icon for DESPAIR!!!!
    So, several frowns ::(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
  7. nicoise

    nicoise Registered User

    Jun 29, 2010
    Dear Dfx,

    What an awful situation...

    An ambulance being called out twice that quickly should also be red-flagging at your aunt's GP, which should also get SS moving a bit quicker.

    But how sad that you've tried to be pro-active to safeguard her, but as is often the case, it usually takes a crisis to actually get things moving.

    I hope you get better news shortly that she really is getting proper care as a priority.
  8. Owly

    Owly Registered User

    Jun 6, 2011
    I've posted before about my discovery that anaesthetics can severely deplete vitamin B12 in those that are already low in it, and this can cause dementia. It may be possible to get improvements, if Vit B12 is supplemented or given by injection from the doctor. Sometimes (it is said) it is too late, the damage is permanent, but it's worth looking into if possible.

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