How to get help for 95 year old living alone

dfx

Registered User
Jan 21, 2013
15
Hello,

I have an Aunt who lives alone a long way from myself. She has no children, there's just my cousin who lives a couple of hours away who sees her once a week. She recently had a minor operation for stones as she was in great pain. The pain is over but apparently her dementia has become terrible, she keeps asking where she is and is convinced she is in another town a long way from her. My cousin has been trying to get help from social services, but says she just gets passed from one person to another without making any progress. What should we be doing to get her into care?
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,774
Salford
Hi dfx
I'd contact social services and report her as a "vulnerable adult", say this isn't the first time they've been contacted about her and as for an urgent adult assessment to be done. I would also mention the recent operation and remind them of that reactions to anaesthetic can cause a sudden decline in those with dementia, be firm but don't take no for an answer and ask for the name of the person you're speaking to so you can contact them again.
K
 

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
8,035
Hello,

I have an Aunt who lives alone a long way from myself. She has no children, there's just my cousin who lives a couple of hours away who sees her once a week. She recently had a minor operation for stones as she was in great pain. The pain is over but apparently her dementia has become terrible, she keeps asking where she is and is convinced she is in another town a long way from her. My cousin has been trying to get help from social services, but says she just gets passed from one person to another without making any progress. What should we be doing to get her into care?
She should be able to have re-ablement services for 4 or 6 weeks post hospital admission which I would push for as you try and get care sorted for her. Its likely the anaesthetic has worsened her dementia and hopefully it may improve a bit.

Others will advise re. finding a home but keep pushing SS as much as possible.

Best wishes
Sue
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
I agree with Kevin :)

I would also say, give some thought to how much time and energy you can each give to supporting your aunt. Getting her into care is likely to be a complex and time-consuming process, and it does not have to be either of you who organises it. Obviously take reponsibility if you want to.....but if you can't or don't want to, this becomes Social Services' responsibility.

Also do you know who your aunt's GP is? If so, perhaps a call to them expressing your concerns would be a good idea. Then they can push things with SS.

Good luck :)

Lindy xx

PS She may not need to go into care as such if care at home meets her needs
 

dfx

Registered User
Jan 21, 2013
15
Thanks. I've done as you said. After pressing all the different buttons to choose which service, I finally got through to someone. At least it sounded like someone but felt like a brick wall. I couldn't help getting upset on the phone when she said that the team responsable had been averted and an assessement is being planned. I said that I'd phoned my cousin the weekend to find that a neighbour had called the ambulance when she found my aunt on the floor having fallen in a corridor. The next day, she had fallen in the flat and had to crawl to the telephone to get help. I ended up saying that the situation was urgent and if she could not give me more detailed information, I felt I would have no other choice than to phone the police. I realise that calling the police may be useless but it least it got me the promise that the person on the phone would get more information and phone me back. I'm going to wait another couple of hours max.
There doesn't seem to be an icon for DESPAIR!!!!
So, several frowns ::(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
 

nicoise

Registered User
Jun 29, 2010
1,806
Dear Dfx,

What an awful situation...

An ambulance being called out twice that quickly should also be red-flagging at your aunt's GP, which should also get SS moving a bit quicker.

But how sad that you've tried to be pro-active to safeguard her, but as is often the case, it usually takes a crisis to actually get things moving.

I hope you get better news shortly that she really is getting proper care as a priority.
 

Owly

Registered User
Jun 6, 2011
538
I've posted before about my discovery that anaesthetics can severely deplete vitamin B12 in those that are already low in it, and this can cause dementia. It may be possible to get improvements, if Vit B12 is supplemented or given by injection from the doctor. Sometimes (it is said) it is too late, the damage is permanent, but it's worth looking into if possible.