How many falls are too many?

[SueShell]

Found Mum on the floor on Monday at 7.30am. Called 999. Paramedics arrived. They got her up after doing stats, but Mum was struggling to stand up, let alone walk with her zimmer. She complained of pain in her pelvic area so they took her to hospital. We then waited from 8.30am until 12.20 before she was even assessed by a Doctor and A&E wasn't that busy! One nurse took bloods then another came in and said no bloods needed and a disagreement pursued. Anyway, to cut a long story short after she was moved to a proper bed at 4.30pm and had x-rays the Doctor told me she fractured her pelvis. Also the fractured hip she did two years ago and they repaired (another fall), has broken down because her bones are now so fragile. He said they could do a total hip replacement but didn't think at her age they could put her through it. So now she's in hospital ward. I've made it absolutely clear to the staff, especially the OT girls that she is not coming home until they convince me that she is without pain and can walk OK with her frame before I am letting her come home. She had another fall two weeks ago but fortunately that time no damage was done. This time fractured pelvis, broken down hip joint, deep cut on her lower arm (I had to threaten to change the blooded dressing myself if the nurse didn't do it straightaway), her back is black and blue and they got her up to walk yesterday and she was crying it was so painful. I'm already exhausted, mostly mentally at the moment as I don't know what to do. I'm her sole carer, she lives right next door to me but the hospital seem to think that I'm with her 24/7, pretty much I am, but for goodness sake I do have a little bit of life and I can't possibly be there all the time. When do you think enough is enough because I really don't think she's going to be able to cope anymore living in her flat. Her Alzheimers is much worse now as well. She isn't self funding so obviously they will do anything so she doesn't go into a CH. All comments welcome, thank you Sue

 

[Hair Twiddler]

Hello my lovely!
So sorry to see your name popping up on TP with an account I am sad to read.

Your mum is really in a bad way, there is no way that she can come home this time is there? (All those steps up and down to her flat!)

As we have read here on TP all too often the NHS/SS?LA's are expert of abrogating all responsibility back to a relative regardless of their physical, mental, distance circumstances. I am sure that individuals in these posts must go home and feel twinges of conscience but that doesn't stop them from pulling the "company line" the next time.

Right enough of me trying to be fair. I'll stop now.
My lovely,you are going to have to be tough like you have never in your life dreamed of before.
Write to all those social workers, doctors, CPN's, Occ. Therapists that you have in your diary tell them that mum is a vulnerable adult but one that you will not be caring for any longer please don't go into long explanation as to why, they will just try to persuade you that with local social support mum can come home. Tell them that you are going away - can you go and stay with your cousin?
I am sure others will come along with good advice.

I feel for you Sue - drop me a PM when you feel up to it.
Love Twiddler x

 

[jasmineflower]

Hi
Sorry to hear your problems are not getting any easier! Now your mother is in hospital I would get all the services involved. Make sure they know your mother is a vulnerable adult living alone (ignore the fact you are so close). State that she is no longer safe and you would not be able to cope with her nursing needs.
I would also ask for a full CHC assessment before she is discharged.
If your mum is in a hospital bed it focuses their minds a little more as they will want to get her out as soon as they can.

Try to rest while your mum is being cared for in hospital
J

 

[SueShell]

Thank you Jasmineflower.......Sallyann I will send you a PM tonight!

I had to ring 999 for myself 6 weeks ago, damaged my back so badly that when I went to bed I couldn't get up again - the pain was indescribable - I was screaming. First time in my life I've rang 999 for myself. Took an hour for ambulance to arrive (and 45 minutes to get myself out of bed inch by inch screaming). They had to walk me slowly down the stairs because I couldn't sit or lie down the pain was too severe. They gave me air and gas which was useless and then when I got to the hospital they plonked me in a chair with everyone else in A&E. After sitting there for 2 hours I just had to move so tried to get up and I screamed with the pain - back had gone into spasm. Nurse, and other patients waiting come running over to attend to me. How much longer, nurse said I was the next one in to see the Doctor. Was you the one that came in by ambulance? um, yes, that's why I'm in my pyjamas! Can you please just put me out cause I can't stand this pain any longer. Saw doctor did some tests, upshot was he gave me a morphine injection and sent me away with some pain killers. Said I'd torn all the tissue in my lumbar region and it had also affected the nerves, hence the excruciating pain. Told 3 hour wait to be taken home by ambulance. I rang for cab, got in cab, God knows how I managed, but cab driver helped me up stairs. Its now 2.30am. Now got Mum next door, I can't look after myself let alone my Mum, but rang SS the following day who said they'd get a carer to come in the weekend to wash Mum at 11.30 and give her lunch a 2.30, best they could do as it was short notice! Well of course if I'd have known 3 weeks ago I was going to end up in A&E i'd have given you more notice, doh! They should have sent Mum straight to emergency respite so I could have rested, but its only now getting better because as she's in hospital at the moment I've got time to rest and not have to try and bend down everyday to dress her which believe me, was almost impossible let alone really painful. I'm disgusted with SS. As her sole carer the least they could have done was to have temporarily put her into CH, but no. I had no sleep at all for 72 hours because the pain was such I couldn't sit for long,then took gritted teeth and ages to get up again, and not lie down, but they don't care. I will never forgive SS for that, believe me!

 

[Jess1982]

It's so frustrating when people who are so frail and prone to falling are sent home.

My dad has had so many falls this year. The last time he was discharged from hospital there was a big meeting to discuss discharge. I clearly told SS that I could guarantee them he'd fall again with 2 days. Surprise surprise that's what happened. Luckily he didn't break anything that time.

He's now in a respite care home SS arranged until a live in carer starts.