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Good advice to walk away temporarily, maybe into another room.I know from experience a this site that you will get some really god advice from some wonderful people. I think the best strategy is to walk away and not respond rise to it as you say it is the disease talking not your dad. In reality I do this lot of the time but some times I give it back with some vengence then leave and go out for the day without looking back,feeling cross with myself for doing it. When I get home its a new beginning and he has forgotten all.
I eat too much chocolate & swear all the way home in the car.
I've found myself shutting off emotionally to cope with the nastiness.
Oh Jay that has made me laugh.I gave walked out of the room, closed the door and stood rudely gesturing to my OH through the door and using every swear word there is and a few made up ones too. I have then taken a deep breath and walked back into the room and very nicely asked him if he would like a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. . I would have liked to have poured it over him but knowing he had dementia I refrained and put it in a cup.
Some tough times for you there.Bear when my mum was in that phase (currently is pleasant and has been about 3 months) my response was crying my eyes out , yelling back , not visiting for a while and definitely eating chocolate and fish and chips. On the swearing I definitely did some of that .
None of which did anything for mum but I felt dreadful.
Unfortunately she was vitriolic for about 12 months. It was quite a tense time.
Fortunately everyone else in my very small extended family were lovely.
I know people it is just the dementia but it really doesn't help. Mum was mean and nasty.
I think from what I have read on talking point for most people (though not all) the nastiness does eventually cease.
Mum did say things like wish you were never born , I hate you etc
Edited to say
Sorry I really don't have any hints but I can offer sympathy
Me too, I stand outside the door making rude signs and muttering all kinds of things I would not normally say. If someone saw me they would probably get a straight jacket. Sometimes I go outside and throw rocks into the lochan behind our garden.I think we belong on the naughty step
No he generally hasn't eaten much maybe fruit or something so I make him something when I get in. He is never anxious about where I have been I think because time means nothing . He ,I think usually sleeps his day away as he is in the same chair that I left him in when I return. I know its not the right thing to do but if I just go in another room or the garden he follows me to continue the abuse.Good advice to walk away temporarily, maybe into another room.
Mindy, how does your OH cope with your sudden exits? Is he safe on his own and able to make himself a meal? I understand about him having forgotten the reason for you walking out, but would he not be anxious as to where you were?
I think the naughty step will become very crowdedMe too, I stand outside the door making rude signs and muttering all kinds of things I would not normally say. If someone saw me they would probably get a straight jacket. Sometimes I go outside and throw rocks into the lochan behind our garden.
Had a good swear last night but still annoyed this morning so swearing didn't work. Have a strong urge to start throwing things around the house - feel china against walls might help. Problem is I know who would have to clear up and it might upset the dog. Wish I had some rocks and a lochan.Me too, I stand outside the door making rude signs and muttering all kinds of things I would not normally say. If someone saw me they would probably get a straight jacket. Sometimes I go outside and throw rocks into the lochan behind our garden.