Last year I had some concerns about my mothers poor memory and so visited her doctor who made and appointment for her to go to a memory clinic. We had the initial appointment but then mum refused to go again as she is in denial that there is a problem. Her behavior since then has altered and is never the same two days running. How do I get advice without any cooperation from my mum.
How do you deal with denial
- Thread starter patmac
- Start date
HI , we went through this process with my mum - she initially raised the matter that she was concerned about her memory and we got as far as the memeory clinic where she did all the tests but refused the scan. The doctor at the time said he didn't believe there was a problem other than she had the worst memory he had ever come across. It was at least a year later that mum again raised the issue and asked her GP if there was anything that could be done. She was again referred to the memory clinic . between the referral and the date of the appt she changed her mind several times about whether or not she wanted to go but ultimately went along with my brother - she even went along with the scan
. She still denies she has any real problem (other than accepting she has a bad memeory) but we have noticed that she is much more alert & happier since being put on Aracept. She refers to this as her 'memory' tablet. her latest check reveal no deterioration. Ultimately you cannot force the issue just keep being supportive . Speak to your GP for advise but also contact the Alzhemeirs contact worker for your area.
Good luck
. She still denies she has any real problem (other than accepting she has a bad memeory) but we have noticed that she is much more alert & happier since being put on Aracept. She refers to this as her 'memory' tablet. her latest check reveal no deterioration. Ultimately you cannot force the issue just keep being supportive . Speak to your GP for advise but also contact the Alzhemeirs contact worker for your area. Good luck
I got mum as far as the first appointment at the memory clinic. After that she had a huge meltdown and refused to go for the scan, she also developed some very strange ideas about me (she's always been quite paranoid and Alzheimer's has taken the breaks off) so I thought that was that, especially as the GP, who actually didn't do at all badly to begin with, said that there was nothing much that could be done until she was a danger blah blah blah...
Her behaviour got worse and prompted me to contact the psychiatrist she saw at the memory clinic. I wrote an email detailing my concers and using words such as 'vulnerable adult' and 'at risk' although it was pretty much accidental if I'm honest! That email resulted in a CPN and a SW becoming involved, for which I'm eternally grateful.
That said, although Aricept was prescribed my mum refused to take it. She has no idea that she's ill and anything done to help her is viewed by her as a conspiracy, so even though she has carers popping in a couple of times a week she doesn't always let them in and she certainly doesn't engage with them, so there's been little progress as far as getting things done as such. She lives in squalor, her diet is quite dodgy, she hasn't washed in a very long time indeed and she has a very loose grasp on reality.
But I'm still very glad that we're in 'the system'. Both the CPN and the SW have been very supportive of my emotional needs and I know that should anything happen they'll swoop in and get things sorted out. I'm no longer on my own with this. In fact I saw my mum on Friday and I was shocked by how confused she was and the state of her and the house (and that's saying something as both she and the house have been in a bit of a state for a while), so I'm going to flag that up and I know I'm going to get a quick response. I don't know what it will result in as far getting some real action as realistically to do that the next step is mum being sectioned, but even just getting a few more carer visits while she's like this will help, even if she refuses to let them in! I can't be there most of the time so other people popping in and seeing her is better than nothing.
Her behaviour got worse and prompted me to contact the psychiatrist she saw at the memory clinic. I wrote an email detailing my concers and using words such as 'vulnerable adult' and 'at risk' although it was pretty much accidental if I'm honest! That email resulted in a CPN and a SW becoming involved, for which I'm eternally grateful.
That said, although Aricept was prescribed my mum refused to take it. She has no idea that she's ill and anything done to help her is viewed by her as a conspiracy, so even though she has carers popping in a couple of times a week she doesn't always let them in and she certainly doesn't engage with them, so there's been little progress as far as getting things done as such. She lives in squalor, her diet is quite dodgy, she hasn't washed in a very long time indeed and she has a very loose grasp on reality.
But I'm still very glad that we're in 'the system'. Both the CPN and the SW have been very supportive of my emotional needs and I know that should anything happen they'll swoop in and get things sorted out. I'm no longer on my own with this. In fact I saw my mum on Friday and I was shocked by how confused she was and the state of her and the house (and that's saying something as both she and the house have been in a bit of a state for a while), so I'm going to flag that up and I know I'm going to get a quick response. I don't know what it will result in as far getting some real action as realistically to do that the next step is mum being sectioned, but even just getting a few more carer visits while she's like this will help, even if she refuses to let them in! I can't be there most of the time so other people popping in and seeing her is better than nothing.
I finally managed to get my mum to the memory clinic this week, she had had scans done about 4 years ago after a suspected mini stroke and has been steadily going down hill since then.
She now has a diagnosis of mild to moderate mixed dementia, but still gets very upset about all the fuss as "there's nothing wrong with me I wish everybody would stop talking about me and leave me alone". Then a short while later "I can't cope with this anymore my brain is so full and muddled".
(It dawned on me on the way to the appointment that she thought she was seeing someone about her arthritis but I just changed the subject I wonder if we would have got there otherwise))
She now has a diagnosis of mild to moderate mixed dementia, but still gets very upset about all the fuss as "there's nothing wrong with me I wish everybody would stop talking about me and leave me alone". Then a short while later "I can't cope with this anymore my brain is so full and muddled".
(It dawned on me on the way to the appointment that she thought she was seeing someone about her arthritis but I just changed the subject
I wonder if we would have got there otherwise))
