There are suggestions that Lewy Bodies Dementia might retain short term memory moreso than say Alzheimer's and thus might affect a decision to 'remind' your husband of a past conversation. Generally, it seems wiser to refrain from retrospective debate, owing to the lack of reasoning which creates more problems and confusion. Where there is genuine capacity, then it is possible to discuss at least on a level which is understood, but beyond this and subject to a decision into Care having been made, then based upon everything in place regarding the Care Home, it should follow a day-to-day course of events. Perhaps Respite, then actual residential Care.
This is always such a huge decision, filled with doubts and apprehensions and an overall sense of utter frustration, because you long to continue caring and yet the blatant truth confronts you as the situation develops and the loved one presents in ways which become virtually unmanageable. Added to this , of course, is that deeply felt sense of betrayal or guilt, which has been cited so many, many times in such situations. This is not factual. It is an outcome brought about by a complex and extremely challenging disease, amidst which our sense of inadequacy translates into 'guilt', which is in itself a distortion. The overriding notion of the loved one actually no longer being at home, is in itself almost inconceivable. And so again we have to turn to 'best interests', which can manage this disease, ultimately, in a state of excellence. An environment which enables a 'quality of life' to take place, with proper ongoing care, instead of a potential deterioration of 'home care', owing to, in most cases, utter mental and physical exhaustion.
Once a mindset is in place, i.e. I accept the decision made is both proper and in the best interests of a loved one, then that should progress along those lines, leaving the immediate future open to events as they occur. We can never predict outcomes because every single case is different. But once that enormous burden of caring is placed in the hands of what should be a specialist team, acting accordingly 24 hours a day, then that leaves time to continue where one left off, as visiting carer and comforter - - whether as wife, or husband, a daughter or son or simply as a very close friend. And 'being there', even in such different circumstances, is wholly meaningful, for both parties.