How do I tell if it’s Dementia

Discussion in 'Memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis' started by sunny232, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. sunny232

    sunny232 New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    My 68 year old husband has been a bit off. I must begin by mentioning he is an alcoholic, sober for only six months. My problem is distinguishing dementia from an already pickled brain and I am not trying to be nasty. A week ago we had just finished eating dinner, a very hearty dinner. He cleaned the table and cleaned up the entire kitchen. 10 minutes later he asked me if I was ready to eat. I thought he was joking as we were stuffed. I asked him again what he said and he repeated himself. I asked did he not remember that we had just eatenand he said he had not eaten. I went through the whole scenario with him what we ate what we talked about etc. He remembered nothing. He ended up going into bed early and forgot to do a nightly ritual which was letting our dogs back in the house. This might seem minor to some people but he would’ve cut off his right arm before he forgot this. Two days later out of the blue he told me that I did not love him anymore, I did not want him anymore, I picked on him all the time, I was not the sweet woman he had married, I was in love with another man who lived in the neighborhood who just happen to be mentally handicapped, I had 1000 credit cards and I was in deep debt. Next year I had hoped to go on a trip out west with our son and my husband told me I was too old to travel, we could not do things like that anymore, and if I did go anywhere it was probably going to be with this handicapped individual. My husband used to be the life of the party. He no longer wants to socialize although we do go out together with each other maybe to dinner or to an event but never with anyone else. He is depressed and just sits around. Our children are not around because they all have lives of their own and he uses this as an excuse as well, he is not their hero anymore, well they are all over 50 years old so…… I want to tell all of this to our doctor, but if my husband thinks that I even consider the possibility that he has some kind of condition, It will cause great great friction between us. He was tested for Alzheimer’s a year ago and the test came back negative, but I don’t know how many tests he was supposed to take. There was an MRI scheduled and he did not go to that. Is there any help out there?
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    N Ireland
    Hello @sunny232 and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for information and support.

    The best thing to do in this situation is have a chat with your GP. Many treatable conditions, such as depression, stress, thyroid problems, vitamin deficiencies etc., can cause dementia like symptoms so it's important to have a check-up. Please don't cause additional stress by jumping to the immediate conclusion that it's dementia. On the other hand, if it is dementia then a diagnosis may open up support for you.

    Here is a link to a Society Fact sheet about the diagnosis issue. Just click the second line to read or print the document

    Assessment and diagnosis (426)
    PDF printable version

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
  3. manArgentina

    manArgentina Registered User

    Aug 10, 2019
    Mendoza, Argentina
    Dementia or not, maybe he have some issues. Could be the alcohol, maybe some kind of abstinence too. The best you can do is keep going and try to make him feel good. Walks and fresh air together always are good to clean the mind, small talks, not talking about problems. And keep the eye to see if this keeps on.
  4. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    Sending you ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) it can feel lonely at times but you aren’t alone on the forum. keep posting
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    You can speak to your doctor in confidence. They will not tell your husband.

    He does need help and even though the first test was negative there must be something wrong if he has these behaviours.

    My husband refused to attend doctors appointments but he did have diabetes type 2 and the doctor asked him to attend for a blood test. Does your husband have any other medical condition which the doctor can use as an excuse to get him into the surgery?
  6. sunny232

    sunny232 New member

    Oct 23, 2019
  7. sunny232

    sunny232 New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    Thank you for your reply. On the health of my husband, he doesn’t have any other health problems. We joke about it because he has smoked and been a drinker for over 50 years. He worked with asbestos in a shipyard and he has remained “blessed” by not suffering any illnesses from anything. With the alcohol I was sure that he would suffer from some alcohol related issues, but no. I will speak to my GP.

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