How do I cope?

TessB

Registered User
Nov 14, 2023
136
0
District nurse is now visiting mum weekly. Today she suggested I sleep in the same room as mum and spend as much time with mum as possible. Does this mean mum may die soon? In many ways mum has been as she is now for weeks - still eating though perhaps not quite as much, sleeping a lot and either calling out during the night or early morning. As much as I have wanted it to be over, now that it may be here I don't want it to be. Not sure I can cope with the overwhelming sadness.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,379
0
South coast
I'm so sorry @TessB

I don't know what stage your mum is at, but I would have thought the DNs would be in more often if they thought she might die imminently. Perhaps it would be a good idea to have a private word next time the DN is in and have a very open conversation with them
 

TessB

Registered User
Nov 14, 2023
136
0
I'm so sorry @TessB

I don't know what stage your mum is at, but I would have thought the DNs would be in more often if they thought she might die imminently. Perhaps it would be a good idea to have a private word next time the DN is in and have a very open conversation with them
Thank you for your reply, Canary. It's reassuring to know the DNs would visit more often if they thought it was imminent. I did ask today's nurse if she thought mum would die soon but she said she didn't know. Today's nurse was the same one who visited last week so I wondered if she'd noticed signs that I wouldn't recognise. Mum has heart failure as well as Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Apparently the vascular disease is advanced and mum hadn't been expected to survive the TIA she had last December.
 

TessB

Registered User
Nov 14, 2023
136
0
I'm so sorry @TessB

I don't know what stage your mum is at, but I would have thought the DNs would be in more often if they thought she might die imminently. Perhaps it would be a good idea to have a private word next time the DN is in and have a very open conversation with them
My lovely mum passed away suddenly this evening
 

mhw

Registered User
Apr 4, 2024
68
0
Hoping you were sort of prepared after the last couple of days and werent/ aren't alone with this. Your mum's suffering is over bless her. Take care of yourself. X
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
5,630
0
Dorset
Hi TessB, even when you are expecting it, it takes time to get your head around somebody dying. Give yourself a couple of days to maybe have a good cry and process things (surprisingly this isn’t an automatic reaction no matter how much we love someone).
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
6,629
0
Hello @TessB i am sorry to read about your mum’s passing. Sending you condolences and wishing you strength for the days ahead.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,379
0
South coast
Oh my goodness @TessB , I am so sorry. It sounds like that was much quicker than anyone expected
Please be kind to yourself now
(((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
82,359
0
Kent
It sounds as if it was the heart failure @TessB and a terrible shock for you.

Please accept my condolences. Take care.