How do you come to term with the loss of your spouse, not only to dementia, but to permanent care also? MH went into care 4 months ago and I am a basket case on a daily basis. Life has no meaning without MH in it. We were very close and very interdependent upon each other. He was my world and I was his. I know that with advancing age it should come as no surprise that the proverbial is going to hit the fan for either one, but I always thought I would be the one who either died first or had some dramatic illness to deal with. I wish he was closer so I could visit more frequently, but at this stage I have to tolerate the status quo. Although I only live for the days when I can see him, the visits are not necessarily easy as conversation is limited with him and he often gets up and wanders off outside or goes to sleep while I'm there. I could still easily pass before he does, but if he goes first I just don't think I'll be able to carry on. I will have no will to do so although I doubt I'd have the courage to end it all. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.