Thank you for your kind words. It’s one day at a time. I know they say that time is a healer but at the moment I would give anything to have one more cuddle with him ??
How did you learn to cope with the loss?
- Thread starter Pusskins
- Start date
Dear Marionq-
How much I have appreciated your posts over the years and your wise words. At 66 , I still have some life in me.
I joined TP in 2011 and have benefited from your support. I continue to do the next right thing as far as my Nick is concerned. I am caring but my actions have been more about stoicism and getting on with it. The love is not the passion which I felt the early years. As I have said before, its about principle and doing the next right thing.
Lately, I have been praying for his death, but sadly I do not think it will happen any time soon. But still it pray for it. I am looking into buying a bench to honor his passing he would like nothing better than for the children and our friends to come to one of his favorite spots and sit think about him. But I am way ahead of myself. And as I have always said he may very well out live me.
The uncertainty is a big part of the stress @PalSal. When the end comes I think it takes a lot of us by surprise because it doesn’t always happen as you expect. What you can be sure of though is how much effort you have put in over these many years. When you look at the trivia that is applauded and rewarded and compare it with some of unsung heroism on here it is astounding. We all learn from each other and it is remarkable the genuine empathy which exists on TP. Stay well and stay strong.
It's comforting for me to read these posts. My husband and I were married for sixty years and he had dementia for several years before he died. I have been going around so heartbroken and not able to share how I feel. My daughter and grandchildren are grieving too, but they don't really understand. He was my life partner and now he's gone. I loved him so much. When I'm not grieving, I feel like an unmoored boat drifting around and around in circles. I'm trying to find a path forward, and it helps to know I'm not alone in this struggle.
I’m so sorry to read of your loss @1hummingbird. Grief is such a raw emotion and I can understand how it must be difficult to share how you feel. I’m glad you have decided to share here now and I know you will get lots of support and understanding from fellow members.
As you say - you are not alone - there will always be someone here to listen. Thinking of you and wishing you strength.
As you say - you are not alone - there will always be someone here to listen. Thinking of you and wishing you strength.
Dear @Pusskins what an extraordinary thread you started. Thank you. And thanks to everyone that has opened their hearts. here. How on earth do we all come to terms with what we’ve been faced with? So many brave and courageous people prepared to say it how it is. Thank you all.
I‘m making final decisions about a move for my husband into a care home. What an impossible decision this is. There seems to be no ‘right’ way forward, and COVID restrictions have really made it all so much more difficult. Not being able to discuss this move with the person that is going to make the move is so wrong.
Nothing can prepare you for all the loss along the way. It feels like going down a very uneven bumpy stairway on your bottom Into the great unknown. I’m now terrified of each floor/stage and what it will bring. I feel totally ill equipped, and despite external appearances, am floundering around. That’s why I need to cling onto you all on this forum. Keep posting everyone. With hugs and thanks.
I‘m making final decisions about a move for my husband into a care home. What an impossible decision this is. There seems to be no ‘right’ way forward, and COVID restrictions have really made it all so much more difficult. Not being able to discuss this move with the person that is going to make the move is so wrong.
Nothing can prepare you for all the loss along the way. It feels like going down a very uneven bumpy stairway on your bottom Into the great unknown. I’m now terrified of each floor/stage and what it will bring. I feel totally ill equipped, and despite external appearances, am floundering around. That’s why I need to cling onto you all on this forum. Keep posting everyone. With hugs and thanks.
I didn’t! The terrible pain, anxiety and desolation never leaves me although the worst of it has lessened over time. I long for the days when we were together and happily shared every experience. The love we had for each other brought such happiness and memories of this sustains me somewhat and I try to live each day remembering what we had together and being thankful for the wonderful times we shared. Although my heart is broken I feel so lucky to have have shared such feelings with my wonderful man and he will live on forever in my heart and mind. Now I am aware that dementia is part of my future I am glad he is not hear to experience it and that consoles me to an extent. I only hope the rest of my family can cope with what is to come and remember me as I am and not what I will become cet
