How can I help my mum who has dementia and keeps waking up in the night

[Janthe1st]

Hi all I am new to talking point, my mum who is 84 and has dementia and cancer and only has months to live bless her keeps waking up confused in the night and thinks it is morning, my mum lives with myself and my husband and has don't for the past five years, mum was only diagonesed with dementia 5 months ago and then last month we found out she has cancer and only has months to live which is so hard for us to take in, the good thing is mum forgets she is dying which I think is good, but because she is so ill her dementia has escalated quickly and we are finding it hard to cope with or know how to help her, and night times are getting hard most nights I am sleeping in her room so that when she wakes up I can comfort her and tell her it is still night time, she is taking meds to help her relax and sleep but they did help but not now, any advise on how to help her would be grateful care home not an option so need to find a way to help her hope you can point me in the right direction thanks Janet x

 

[Pinkys]

I find it very moving to think of you being there to comfort your mother during these long nights.

I can only think about sensory things. Blackout curtains, so it remains very dark, until morning. Maybe some scented oils, to encourage sleepiness, and make a strong association with night. Soft velvety pillows, or similar. Soothing music in a loop.

In all cases, change everything when dawn comes. Brighter light, a different scent and take away the pillows.

No doubt others will have other ideas.

 

[chris53]

Hello Janet, so sorry you and mum have so much to deal with and how comforting that you are there for her in the early hours, I would to suggest sensory things,especially lavender that may help mum sleep a lot longer, I have attached a link to the Admiral Nurses in your area-who possibly may be able to offer practical support.
Take care and please keep posting
Chris X

https://www.kmpt.nhs.uk/services/sittingbourne-admiral-nursing/7077

 

[Janthe1st]

Thank you I will try the oils mum likes lavender, we have blackout curtains, I was reading about blue light in the day but not quite sure what blue light is, thanks again xx

 

[Janthe1st]

Hello Janet, so sorry you and mum have so much to deal with and how comforting that you are there for her in the early hours, I would to suggest sensory things,especially lavender that may help mum sleep a lot longer, I have attached a link to the Admiral Nurses in your area-who possibly may be able to offer practical support.
Take care and please keep posting
Chris X



Thank you Chris I will ring them tomorrow and the quote is lovely x

 

[fizzie]

Our hospice is great and they will stay and do waking nights so that people can get some sleep. Ask your GP for a fast referral to the hospice (to speed it up give him the fax number of the hospice and ask him to send a referral by fax) - the practice manager will help with a bit of luck if you explain the urgency and meanwhile you can go along to most hospices and speak to someone - they are amazing and they will help with pain control. I would advise anyone moving towards end of life to be in touch with their local hospice - the services they offer are second to none and their knowledge and practice of pain relief is first class

 

[Louby65]

Hello janthe1st. I am so sorry to hear about your mum. As already suggested , using sensory things like smells is a good thing . Would your mum accept a massage of her hands and temples with some scented oils . I sometimes use that for my mum and it helps her . When she was particularly bad with disturbed sleep she was commenced on trazadone which has had benefit . Can I ask if your mum is having analgesia ? If not then this could be something that could be added into her night time regime . I give my mum one paracetamol a couple of times a week with a good result . There is quite a lot of research on its use in dementia but please check with your GP about any medication . Sending you my very best wishes to you and your mum . Please let us know how you get on . Lou

 

[Janthe1st]

Hello janthe1st. I am so sorry to hear about your mum. As already suggested , using sensory things like smells is a good thing . Would your mum accept a massage of her hands and temples with some scented oils . I sometimes use that for my mum and it helps her . When she was particularly bad with disturbed sleep she was commenced on trazadone which has had benefit . Can I ask if your mum is having analgesia ? If not then this could be something that could be added into her night time regime . I give my mum one paracetamol a couple of times a week with a good result . There is quite a lot of research on its use in dementia but please check with your GP about any medication . Sending you my very best wishes to you and your mum . Please let us know how you get on . Lou

Thank you so much for your reply I have been giving mum some gentle head massage I am a qualified therapist even though I don't practice anymore, and the doc started mum on Amitriptyline which is slowly being increased, I take it for my chronic pain fatigue and it helps me so I am hoping it might help mum, thanks again for your help x

 

[Janthe1st]

Our hospice is great and they will stay and do waking nights so that people can get some sleep. Ask your GP for a fast referral to the hospice (to speed it up give him the fax number of the hospice and ask him to send a referral by fax) - the practice manager will help with a bit of luck if you explain the urgency and meanwhile you can go along to most hospices and speak to someone - they are amazing and they will help with pain control. I would advise anyone moving towards end of life to be in touch with their local hospice - the services they offer are second to none and their knowledge and practice of pain relief is first class

Thanks so much, I have just been put in contact with our local hospice by the Macmillan nurse so will contact them and see if they can help x