1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. carol harnetty

    carol harnetty Registered User

    Jun 22, 2008
    5
    I have read several times about how people forget to take their drugs but I haven't read about anyone like my Dad.

    Mother gives him his tablets and watches him take them with water. He often hides them in his mouth and them hides them in plants or down the back of the sofa once she thinks its mission accomplished. Sometimes he manages to spit the tablets into the water, take a swig - mother always inspects his mouth to see of they are gone - but its not in his mouth, he's managed to spit it into the water beforehand and then swear he's taken it!!

    My father also has a strange fixation with food being in the house. He cannot understand why another loaf of bread should be bought when there is a half of the last loaf left. If he thinks you are going out to buy milk he will even sneakily fill a half used bottle of milk with water and try to convince you we do not need to buy more milk there is already a pint there.

    Has anybody else come across anything like this?
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello:
    No I have not experienced exactly the same, but I do find my husband's tablets ont he floor when I think he has taken them :eek::eek::eek::eek:

    I truly have to put the tablets into my husband's mouth and stand there whilst he swallows - not always easy.

    My husband is so immobile that he cannot monitor food coming in and out of the house = if he were then I can imagine the same. It is horrid. We can only find devious ways around this - always trying to be ahead of the situation.

    I hope you get other supportive posts. I truly understand how difficult it is for your Mum.

    Best wishes Jan
     
  3. citybythesea

    citybythesea Registered User

    Mar 23, 2008
    632
    coast of texas
    Yes!

    Mom went through a phase where she felt she was being poisoned by whoever with her pills. "Nancy, I know you don't want me dead, but the people who gave these pills to you for me do!" I don't know how many times I heard that. We would talk it through trying to rationalize, sometimes it worked...most often not. I checked her mouth, and under her tongue. I even caught herself gagging them up on a few occasions. If I didn't watch she would hide them, give them to the dogs (my golden retriever on more than a few occasions took them for her.....could tell that by the way the dog acted that day). I started crushing them and putting them in her food. She caught me doing that one day and from then on she seemed to remember I needed to taste her food first. (I think a sort of survival memory kicks in.) After awhile and a few problems with the way her body reacted to some of her meds her dr. and I discussed pulling her off all her meds. Very risky for a woman who was on medicine for AD, high blood pressure and high cholestrol (because of a history of mini tia's) Her blood pressure did fine until the last month of her life. It seems that it was stress induced. I take a baby aspirin for my blood and so mom would take one of those with me...she felt safe with that. I take vitamins (sometimes it seems too many) so mom would agree to the vitamins.

    She too would try to convince me we didn't need certain items to be bought yet. Milk was one...my family now marks where the line is on the jug as we drink whole milk (everyone agrees that the lowfat tastes like water to us) she was known to fill it with water. I can remember having maybe a little less than a tea cup of milk left in the jug and coming back to a full jug. (you could almost see thru it!) The bread not so much as we make our own. The other thing that she fixated on were eggs. Brown eggs could not be bought they had to be white. Cottage cheese could not be bought because she thought it was curdled milk and would throw it out! There were numerous little oddities that would pop up and my family would just go with the flow. Late evenings after mom would go to bed Jack and Elise and I would talk of the day and mom. We discussed if anything strange may have happened and if itdid then we knew it was just another AD moment and life went on.

    I think the most memorable time for me was when Jack and I were going to have round steak for dinner and when mom saw it she didn't see a round steak but just a steak. It seems that during the depression "round steak" was actually bologna. I did notice that most of her little odd quirks came from a result of growing up during the depression. Sorry to have been so long winded. It will get easier for you and the little trials will resolve themselves.


    HUGS

    Nancy
     
  4. carol harnetty

    carol harnetty Registered User

    Jun 22, 2008
    5
    Nice to know I'm not alone. I was beginning to think it was me!!
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,722
    Kent
    Carol,

    I used to find my husband`s tablets on the ground under the toilet window. I have also ironed shirts and finding a `lump` in the pocket, discovered washed and dried tablets in a congealed mess.

    You can only do your best.

    Love xx
     
  6. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    This is so reassuring for me to read these posts, as my Mum has always been devious about taking her medication and pretending she has when she hasn't. Like everyone else, pills were found in the strangest places!!

    When she was sectioned at the end of last year I was able to authorise the hospital to put her medication in her food which I know is a very controversial issue. At the moment in her new home, they mostly manage to get her to take her pills, but on reading the notes, it still seems that the GP and I can authorise the "food" route again if required.
     
  7. p34nut5

    p34nut5 Registered User

    Apr 17, 2008
    23
    southampton hants
    Dear Carol

    I do know what you mean. Mum has hidden her medication from me so I can't find it in the past. Last night it took us 45 minutes to get her to take it with her becoming very agitated in the process. For a long time I have to wait until her attention is elsewhere when I bring shopping into the house because she gets very agitated by groceries etc.

    Sue
     
  8. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I always believe that there is nothing about dementia that is any different from normal human activity/capabilities.

    It is simply, the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong place, when these things happen.

    If we imagine our loved one as someone in WWII being held by a devious enemy who is drugging them to keep them away from their life or to change how they behave - then if they found ways to hide medications, and to get around what their captor was doing to them, we would hail them as heroic.

    Dementia is far worse an enemy than any of the dictators because until the medical equivalent of the atomic bomb is discovered, the dementia regime will continue and, in the scheme of things I reckon it has in its time destroyed far more lives than any war has done.
     
  9. twinone

    twinone Registered User

    May 19, 2008
    269
    england
    (Dementia is far worse an enemy than any of the dictators because until the medical equivalent of the atomic bomb is discovered, the dementia regime will continue and, in the scheme of things I reckon it has in its time destroyed far more lives than any war has done.)

    Couldn't agree with you more, not just the person who has the disease but it also destroy's the live's of the family involved in the care of their loved one's. I for one hope I never have to see anything like this again within my circle of family and friend as I dont think I could cope with it again.

    I read all you posts but dont always feel that I can reply as I am in a different situation that most of you.

    My thoughts and best wishes to everyone who is still caring for a loved one with this awful illness.

    Janet
     

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