Host mode cause deterioration?

[jennifer1967]

I have told him off today and been getting the silent treatment for the last 4 hrs and he's taken himself off to bed.

Oh the sexual jokes and inuendos over the last few days,

Everytime he opens his mouth it's sex related.

Singing a song " get out of my head and into my pants".

Sparkles on a woman's top ... she gave her fella a happy ending.

Watching a program with gymnastics..." Your mum used to be able to put her legs behind her head,it's how the eldest was conceived,I remember it vividly" ( said to 11 and 16 yr old).

Adding to shopping list: a new penis and a wimple ( obviously because I'm a nun!)

Pointing out every single bit of top/ side boob he sees.

And so on and on.

We have just been ignoring or changing subject.

He is also grabbing, mainly boob. Very quick grab, poke, honking as walking past.

Too quick for me to react/ move/say anything.

He's been in a good mood and says he's just having a joke around with us, we need to chill out, he thought we would be happy he's in a good mood.
which
It's doing my head in, he's almost being childish in his jokes and grabbing, it's just so inappropriate though as it's all sex related

it sounds like my husband was and still can be. enjoy the peace. mine says hes joking as well and i just tell him its not funny. sometimes hes too quick for me to move as well. he will also pat or smack my bottom as well. what gets me is that he thinks he has a right to as im his wife.

 

[Unsure2021]

Wish I could enjoy the peace, walk on eggshells when he gives the silent treatment, just waiting for him to snap at me about anything.

Spend the first 20 minutes when/if he goes bed just listening for him to come back down as 99% of the time he comes back down as he doesn't like/ want to go bed without me.

And he has come back down,no longer getting the silent treatment but he's fairly quiet and mopey, and seems to be struggling with walking, his knees are hurting and very slow moving.

 

[Unsure2021]

He also thinks he has the rights to just paw me whenever he wants because we are a couple, but he's always been like it,

The pawing has gotten worse but luckily it goes no further. ( The actual sex thing used to be worse and that has stopped).

I used to get woken up in the night by him playing.
I have flu oh sex would make me feel better.
You've just torn ligament in your knee I know what you need ..sex...

Oh I could go on forever about the subject, the secret diaries I found detailing my movements, new underwear that I hadn't worn for him so who was I wearing it for.
The time I found him going through my undies, sniffing them.
Making a note of exactly how things were positioned when he went to work and if they had moved.

I have lots of years of pent up frustration and anger built up that seems to keep slipping out on here lol.

 

[jennifer1967]

He also thinks he has the rights to just paw me whenever he wants because we are a couple, but he's always been like it,

The pawing has gotten worse but luckily it goes no further. ( The actual sex thing used to be worse and that has stopped).

I used to get woken up in the night by him playing.
I have flu oh sex would make me feel better.
You've just torn ligament in your knee I know what you need ..sex...

Oh I could go on forever about the subject, the secret diaries I found detailing my movements, new underwear that I hadn't worn for him so who was I wearing it for.
The time I found him going through my undies, sniffing them.
Making a note of exactly how things were positioned when he went to work and if they had moved.

I have lots of years of pent up frustration and anger built up that seems to keep slipping out on here lol.

he has never done that and i think i would have left if i found diaries etc. we have separate rooms for a long time as i have a lock on my door. it was my daughters room and when she moved out i had it. she had the lock on because the grandchildren kept going in her room so we put a lock on it. a yale lock so ican lock from inside as well.

 

[Unsure2021]

I kicked him out 14 years ago, i snapped, couldn't take anymore. We had been together 12 years . clearing his stuff out is when I found the diaries detailing the extent of it all.

He wouldn't take the kids out, had to come to mine to see them,he started coming earlier and earlier , over 12 months he kinda gradually moved himself back in.

Even now I'm not sure exactly how he ended up back.

His health issues started 3-4 yrs afterwards , dizzy spells ect.

He was definitely worse before the split, very paranoid, insecure, controlling person.

 

[Unsure2021]

We have had a mixed Xmas,.

OH stepmum was admitted to hospital 2 weeks before Xmas and sadly passed away 2 days before Xmas ( covid).

He remembers that she has passed but there is no emotion from him, carrying on as nothing has happened.

He was Glad he couldn't visit due to covid until it came time to say goodbye and then more concerned with discussing delivering Xmas presents while in the hospital room.

Family is heartbroken, she's been in OHs life for 40 yrs, been grandmother to our kids their whole life.

But We had a great Xmas day, he loved his present to the point that he was so focused on 'researching' he pretty much left us to get on with it.

None of the ' we were doing things wrong' no interference, no following me every time I left the room.

His present is still in the box and I honestly don't think he'd be able to work it ( got him a 3d printer, I asked the teenage son if would be willing to use it to print OH's stuff out before I purc

 

[Unsure2021]

Oops it posted cut off...made sure teenage son was upto the challenge of OH and 3d printer..lol.

Been 4 days now of solid ' research', of course I'm being informed of everything he's reading but it makes a nice change from repeats of previous subjects.

 

[slim-jim]

We had a very stressful emergency with one of the kids at the weekend, (all fine now).

OH went into what I believe to be 'host mode' for 3 hrs with the police and ever since he has been sleeping pretty much all day, memory all over the place and either a scowl or totally blank face.

Has he just tired himself out or stress caused a lapse or can 'host mode' for any length of time cause deterioration?

 

[slim-jim]

We had a very stressful emergency with one of the kids at the weekend, (all fine now).

OH went into what I believe to be 'host mode' for 3 hrs with the police and ever since he has been sleeping pretty much all day, memory all over the place and either a scowl or totally blank face.

Has he just tired himself out or stress caused a lapse or can 'host mode' for any length of time cause deterioration?

 

[slim-jim]

I do understand and feel for you.Christmas has been a nightmare with the hostess mode in full swing when visitors were here,then almost as soon as visitors left it was as if a switch had been thrown with confusion reigning.I have tried to politely ask friends and relatives to keep visits short although I did enjoy some fresh conversation.I am sad to say that i am pleased Christmas is over.back to normal. If you can call it that