I have been visiting Mum in a Council run Rehab Centre for over 3 weeks now where she was admitted after her hospital stay. Mum broke the neck of her femur by falling down the stairs(at the same time as one of her carers was present in the house). Mum has, so they say, a total of a 6 week stay there....(although that does not seem to have been strictly adhered to by some of the other residents anyway).
Throughout her time there Mum has not made an awful lot of improvement. She is still brought to me in a wheelchair. Thankfully they are reporting that she is doing more (painful) steps throughout the day. This is being instigated now by carers. The physios seem in short supply. My mother used to walk unaided in her own(large) house although numerous adaptions have been added - rails and things - and she used to regularly go for an independent walk with a rollator from home. I don't think it looks like she is getting that amount of mobility back. She had 2 privately organised home care visits per day before and then my support for the rest. I have an absent, largely invisible but critical, brother . POA is "in the pipeline" but held up by a backlog with the Office of the Public Guardian. My mother is nearly 91.
Whilst in the Rehab Centre and even in the hospital Mum has been calmer, less stressed about all the routine things which she was driving herself to do when living at home...and complains of less back pain. She will not openly admit it but she is happier amongst people and "goings on" than she was living alone in her house. She has since said to me many times that she wants to sell her house and move into a nice place. She means a care home..and even suggested one where she used to visit her friend. She has been out of her house because of a prolonged stay in hospital due to covid since July 16th. Her house is becoming in a state of disrepair and I am operating largely alone as her relative carer.
So I have been busily researching and visiting many types of local care homes. I have been looking for the best and most suitable. She would be initially self funding. I also have been trying to save her money by getting her home landline phone switched of, emptying and defrosting the fridge and freezer, insuring her house for "Unoccupancy", etc etc.
Here's my question and my worry now....after reading what you said, Jaded'n'faded and also Canary about SS wanting to try the person on 4 care call visits a day with home adaptions. And my fear is that such a trial would end up in an unsafe disaster. Last week I visited her within the Rehab Centre where a Social worker was making a preliminary visit to her. She seemed unaware of much of Mum's history, of her many falls and of her dementia diagnosis. She was intent on finding out what she was used to doing at home and what adaptions she already had because her role, she said, was to assess her for going home. I intervened here hand said that Mum didn't want to go home. The Social worker said that she could go home but she would have to have 4 care calls a day and her bed downstairs. My mum said she didn't want that and I said that at least 2 of my mother's long unexplained falls have been in the night and that my mother (And myself!!!) have been feeling increasingly unsafe in the night. My mother was given a zimmer to use but she forgets, or prefers not to(I really don't know) use it. MY mother even had another fall whilst in this very Rehab centre and had a 24 hour stay in hospital about a week ago.
So here is my list of the "whys".(Why I believe my mother needs to be in a care home). Some of it is about my own mental and physical strain....and whilst writing that I feel guilty I wonder whether or not they will think it is evidence, or not.
Throughout her time there Mum has not made an awful lot of improvement. She is still brought to me in a wheelchair. Thankfully they are reporting that she is doing more (painful) steps throughout the day. This is being instigated now by carers. The physios seem in short supply. My mother used to walk unaided in her own(large) house although numerous adaptions have been added - rails and things - and she used to regularly go for an independent walk with a rollator from home. I don't think it looks like she is getting that amount of mobility back. She had 2 privately organised home care visits per day before and then my support for the rest. I have an absent, largely invisible but critical, brother . POA is "in the pipeline" but held up by a backlog with the Office of the Public Guardian. My mother is nearly 91.
Whilst in the Rehab Centre and even in the hospital Mum has been calmer, less stressed about all the routine things which she was driving herself to do when living at home...and complains of less back pain. She will not openly admit it but she is happier amongst people and "goings on" than she was living alone in her house. She has since said to me many times that she wants to sell her house and move into a nice place. She means a care home..and even suggested one where she used to visit her friend. She has been out of her house because of a prolonged stay in hospital due to covid since July 16th. Her house is becoming in a state of disrepair and I am operating largely alone as her relative carer.
So I have been busily researching and visiting many types of local care homes. I have been looking for the best and most suitable. She would be initially self funding. I also have been trying to save her money by getting her home landline phone switched of, emptying and defrosting the fridge and freezer, insuring her house for "Unoccupancy", etc etc.
Here's my question and my worry now....after reading what you said, Jaded'n'faded and also Canary about SS wanting to try the person on 4 care call visits a day with home adaptions. And my fear is that such a trial would end up in an unsafe disaster. Last week I visited her within the Rehab Centre where a Social worker was making a preliminary visit to her. She seemed unaware of much of Mum's history, of her many falls and of her dementia diagnosis. She was intent on finding out what she was used to doing at home and what adaptions she already had because her role, she said, was to assess her for going home. I intervened here hand said that Mum didn't want to go home. The Social worker said that she could go home but she would have to have 4 care calls a day and her bed downstairs. My mum said she didn't want that and I said that at least 2 of my mother's long unexplained falls have been in the night and that my mother (And myself!!!) have been feeling increasingly unsafe in the night. My mother was given a zimmer to use but she forgets, or prefers not to(I really don't know) use it. MY mother even had another fall whilst in this very Rehab centre and had a 24 hour stay in hospital about a week ago.
So here is my list of the "whys".(Why I believe my mother needs to be in a care home). Some of it is about my own mental and physical strain....and whilst writing that I feel guilty I wonder whether or not they will think it is evidence, or not.
- My mother has had falls in the night where paramedics have had to be called.
- My mother has had two recent falls whilst a carer was nearby but not watching
- My mother's loneliness at home is detrimental to her health and, with reduced mobility, I expect this to increase.
- My brother dissociates himself from involvement with my mother's increasing needs and spends 3 months at a time abroad on holiday. (There were 6 months in total from Nov 2021 to May 2022). My relationship with him has broken down.
- My mother was since the last eye hospital appointment "borderline partially sighted". She keeps saying her vision is now worse again. I believe this may be true.
- I suffer from chronic pain affecting my legs which can limit the help I can give.
- I have another fairly ominous health issue which is being closely monitored, which is of concern and worry to me.
