Happy new year to everyone. My mother in law has Alzheimer's. We have just found out that my father in law has been forgetting to give her, her medication and hence she has got worse over the last few months. Just wondered is anyone could help us and give us some ideas on how to deal with her. She has started to get more childlike over the last few months. Just wanting to eat chocolate and when we give her meals to her she either chews a few times and then hides the food in a tissue, or just takes from the plate and puts in a tissue. We have started to hide her chocolate so she only will have a few in the box at a time. We have tried to take the tissue away but she says her nose is running and will not eat without them. Any ideas how we should deal with this. Should we be firm, ignore it.
Hiding food
- Thread starter viksmeister
- Start date
Hi Viksmeister,
Welcome to the forum. Your mother-in-law's situation is not at all uncommon. In my experience, being firm just makes matters worse as anything which someone with dementia finds upsetting just seems to make them angrier and more determined. My humourous side wants to suggest dipping potato cubes, brussel sprouts, sausages in chocolate so that she gets a balanced diet
But my more practical side wonders if feeding her finger foods or leaving plates of small sandwiches or cheese and fruit around so that she can just pick at them when she feels hungry might work. Also some of the meal in a drink products would ensure that she is getting the nutrition she needs (if she will drink them). Don't feel you have to stick to the foods she has traditionally eaten, or stick to 3 meals a day. Her tastes and reaction to textures may be changing so it will probably take some playing around to find what works.
Welcome to the forum. Your mother-in-law's situation is not at all uncommon. In my experience, being firm just makes matters worse as anything which someone with dementia finds upsetting just seems to make them angrier and more determined. My humourous side wants to suggest dipping potato cubes, brussel sprouts, sausages in chocolate so that she gets a balanced diet
But my more practical side wonders if feeding her finger foods or leaving plates of small sandwiches or cheese and fruit around so that she can just pick at them when she feels hungry might work. Also some of the meal in a drink products would ensure that she is getting the nutrition she needs (if she will drink them). Don't feel you have to stick to the foods she has traditionally eaten, or stick to 3 meals a day. Her tastes and reaction to textures may be changing so it will probably take some playing around to find what works.Hiya Viksmeister,
What you are experiencing with your mum is not uncommon in dementia sufferers. Very often the dementia affects their tastebuds too and food which they have probably eaten all their lives becomes unsavoury for them and they start rejecting it. As you are finding with your mum, a sweet tooth seems to be something which many people develop.
As to how to deal with the issue, based on my experience I would mention the following to you:
1. Do not make an issue out of her rejecting food or preferring sweet foods. There is a risk that any kind of confrontation about the issue could lead to paranoia and them refusing food altogether.
2. As you will see on here already, when food starts to become an issue, the best approach (unless there are medical reasons not to) is to let them have what they want. It is better that they eat than they don't eat and even if they add a few pounds in weight during this phase, it can often be a blessing at a later stage where weight loss becomes an issue, perhaps following such things as UTI's etc.
3. There are lots of nutritious ways that your mum can be given sweet food. Things like custards and home made rice puddings, tapioca, things like that can be beneficial - one because you can either load the calories by use of cream or eggs etc or you can restrict them by use of low fat milk etc, but not only that, as the memory starts to deteriorate and the residual memory is often of days gone by, these foods can be those that the person can identify with because they were given them as a child perhaps.
4. Some people have had success with milky sweet drinks, some even give "sandwiches" of Bread butter and a sprinkling of sugar! Meringue nests were a standby for me with my mother as I could pile some fruit on them with a sprinkling of sugar and she'd be happy as a lord. Don't be afraid to experiment to see what she will or will not tolerate.
5. As you have noticed her rejecting foods it is worthwhile ruling out things like problems with her teeth either her own or if she has dentures. Maybe she would eat savour foods if they were soft foods that require little chewing. I know in my mother's care room that wet food was the food of choice all round - eg foods served with a sauce or a gravy like macaroni cheese/cottage pie kind of things.
6. Another thing you could try if her tastebuds are changing is to offer savoury foods but ones which have more intense flavour - perhaps a curry flavour or chilli con carni. Maybe she is not eating things because they now taste bland rather than disgusting.
As always, this is based on my own experiences but hope that it at least gives you some things to consider.
Fiona
What you are experiencing with your mum is not uncommon in dementia sufferers. Very often the dementia affects their tastebuds too and food which they have probably eaten all their lives becomes unsavoury for them and they start rejecting it. As you are finding with your mum, a sweet tooth seems to be something which many people develop.
As to how to deal with the issue, based on my experience I would mention the following to you:
1. Do not make an issue out of her rejecting food or preferring sweet foods. There is a risk that any kind of confrontation about the issue could lead to paranoia and them refusing food altogether.
2. As you will see on here already, when food starts to become an issue, the best approach (unless there are medical reasons not to) is to let them have what they want. It is better that they eat than they don't eat and even if they add a few pounds in weight during this phase, it can often be a blessing at a later stage where weight loss becomes an issue, perhaps following such things as UTI's etc.
3. There are lots of nutritious ways that your mum can be given sweet food. Things like custards and home made rice puddings, tapioca, things like that can be beneficial - one because you can either load the calories by use of cream or eggs etc or you can restrict them by use of low fat milk etc, but not only that, as the memory starts to deteriorate and the residual memory is often of days gone by, these foods can be those that the person can identify with because they were given them as a child perhaps.
4. Some people have had success with milky sweet drinks, some even give "sandwiches" of Bread butter and a sprinkling of sugar! Meringue nests were a standby for me with my mother as I could pile some fruit on them with a sprinkling of sugar and she'd be happy as a lord. Don't be afraid to experiment to see what she will or will not tolerate.
5. As you have noticed her rejecting foods it is worthwhile ruling out things like problems with her teeth either her own or if she has dentures. Maybe she would eat savour foods if they were soft foods that require little chewing. I know in my mother's care room that wet food was the food of choice all round - eg foods served with a sauce or a gravy like macaroni cheese/cottage pie kind of things.
6. Another thing you could try if her tastebuds are changing is to offer savoury foods but ones which have more intense flavour - perhaps a curry flavour or chilli con carni. Maybe she is not eating things because they now taste bland rather than disgusting.
As always, this is based on my own experiences but hope that it at least gives you some things to consider.
Fiona
Thank you for your replies. We have noticed that the easier the food to eat the more she eats ie Shepherds pie. sausage & mash (sausage cut up small). I am going to have a good at making her some puddings which she could have a tea time as she never wants the sandwiches made. Thanks again Vicky
She possibly she eats more of the shepherds pie etc as they are easier to swallow. Somtimes the swallow reflex is not as good as it was.
My mother also prefers this type of food especially as she does not have that many teeth left (she is 98 so not unexpected) . We also ensure her food is cut small before we give it to her (I manage to get 1/2 a sandwich cut into 6 mouthsized bites) so she does not get the feeling we are fussing her.
I quite understand the notion of eating a balanced diet but my thoughts (I am sure some will disagree) is that it does not matter if she prefers the pudding rather than the dinner so long as she eats it. Rice puddings, sponge type puds with custard all get eaten with gusto which I feel is preferable to fighting to get every mouthful down.
Best Wishes
My mother also prefers this type of food especially as she does not have that many teeth left (she is 98 so not unexpected) . We also ensure her food is cut small before we give it to her (I manage to get 1/2 a sandwich cut into 6 mouthsized bites) so she does not get the feeling we are fussing her.
I quite understand the notion of eating a balanced diet but my thoughts (I am sure some will disagree) is that it does not matter if she prefers the pudding rather than the dinner so long as she eats it. Rice puddings, sponge type puds with custard all get eaten with gusto which I feel is preferable to fighting to get every mouthful down.
Best Wishes
Mash can be like a wonder food in scenarios like this as you can load it with calories, butter, cream, add an egg, even top the cottage pie with cheese too or mix some cheese through the mash. I reckon they could live off mash alone, I know I certainly could LOL
Fiona
Fiona
Fruits fruits fruits. My wife. diagnosed with early on-set, hid food all over the house. Then I discovered she developed a taste for fruits, apples, pears, mangoes peaches, fresh or tinned so I let her have as many as she liked. She was also attracted to bright colours and the two things, colours and fruits, took her attention. She also developed a love of choclates and chocolate digestive biscuits which I rationed but used them as a distraction because I found out that giving her digestive chocolate biscuits changed her mood for the better. Initially I was concerned that too much sweet things may have negative health implications but it can be balanced and rationed and supplied at key moments, eg when the wandering mood took her at inappropriate times.
What's the facination with tissue for them???!!! My wife folds up individual pieces of toilet paper and kitchen towels into small balls and put them into the bin. Sometimes a solution to the problem can be achieved when the reason for the behaviour is understood, but I am struggling with this one and the grocery bill.
Hi there
My FIL was just the same in hiding food and we have to still check around the house, however we have found that he has taken a liking to the shop own brand trifles (about 40p each) so I am now buying these by the trays.
Karen
My FIL was just the same in hiding food and we have to still check around the house, however we have found that he has taken a liking to the shop own brand trifles (about 40p each) so I am now buying these by the trays.
Karen
