Hi,Another newbee.
I am 48. My mum was diagnosed in 2000 after 2/3 years of well hell I suppose. Now 2008 she is still being cared for in her own home...after blood sweat and tears. I am supported by social services who allow me EMI funding to add towards home care 24hr live in. It has been very hard physically and emotionally. I guess I have asked a lot of my family ..husband and 2 sons, over the years. No holidays,spontinaity..constant on call status and all the hassle of DPs a (total waste of time and made me ill)
dealing with finances..carers...home maintinance...but I think it is worth it to see my mum.
Anyhoo I feel that I have reached a kinda burnout. I grieve ...in a circle and always end up back at the start.
i do understand bereavement..I just dont know how to cope with this groundhog day scenario. I am so tired so so sad and now with my youngest leaving home I feel desolate. im crying as I type. I know i am caught in a negative spiral and I have done all the things I can think off to get off it but its all at once
I suppose. Hormone changes..sons away..mum not able to comfort me as she would have.
I am finding the personal care particularly hard. I cant just be professonal and get on.. I just dont want to clean up my mum..and yet I am privaliged to be in a position to do so and have the ability.I feel so guilty and ashamed. Spoke to someone who suggested " this is as good as it gets" find a way to surf the pain and in the end what ever that is ..the end.. things will resolve.
Ok sorry I am ranting and howling maybe thats all I need... off load. Noone to listen. You lose contact with friends in this situation. I am lucky enough to work parttime and collegues very supportive.My dad died in 94 with a brain tumour we nursed him at home . Mum never recovered she went from severe depression to alzhiemers. She was only 60 when he died.
On a good day i have a wicked sense of humour. I am good at my job...helping others recognise their strengths and use their abilities to over come or survive lives pit falls...just fallen into a bloody big pit of my own.....a
thanx for listening..sorry to bray.. hoping this eases my discomfort...then I will be in aposition to share the amazing wealth of coping with dementia and authorities i have amassed.
Kx
I am 48. My mum was diagnosed in 2000 after 2/3 years of well hell I suppose. Now 2008 she is still being cared for in her own home...after blood sweat and tears. I am supported by social services who allow me EMI funding to add towards home care 24hr live in. It has been very hard physically and emotionally. I guess I have asked a lot of my family ..husband and 2 sons, over the years. No holidays,spontinaity..constant on call status and all the hassle of DPs a (total waste of time and made me ill)
dealing with finances..carers...home maintinance...but I think it is worth it to see my mum.
Anyhoo I feel that I have reached a kinda burnout. I grieve ...in a circle and always end up back at the start.
i do understand bereavement..I just dont know how to cope with this groundhog day scenario. I am so tired so so sad and now with my youngest leaving home I feel desolate. im crying as I type. I know i am caught in a negative spiral and I have done all the things I can think off to get off it but its all at once
I suppose. Hormone changes..sons away..mum not able to comfort me as she would have.
I am finding the personal care particularly hard. I cant just be professonal and get on.. I just dont want to clean up my mum..and yet I am privaliged to be in a position to do so and have the ability.I feel so guilty and ashamed. Spoke to someone who suggested " this is as good as it gets" find a way to surf the pain and in the end what ever that is ..the end.. things will resolve.
Ok sorry I am ranting and howling maybe thats all I need... off load. Noone to listen. You lose contact with friends in this situation. I am lucky enough to work parttime and collegues very supportive.My dad died in 94 with a brain tumour we nursed him at home . Mum never recovered she went from severe depression to alzhiemers. She was only 60 when he died.
On a good day i have a wicked sense of humour. I am good at my job...helping others recognise their strengths and use their abilities to over come or survive lives pit falls...just fallen into a bloody big pit of my own.....a
thanx for listening..sorry to bray.. hoping this eases my discomfort...then I will be in aposition to share the amazing wealth of coping with dementia and authorities i have amassed.
Kx