Hi, new here and need help

[Triggers4766]

My dad has vascular dementia. Before he was admitted to a care home, his behaviour was irrational. He would lock himself in the bathroom and not come out until the evening. She would use the time to shave his face as he believed that he had grease on his skin and sand in his eyes. He would not eat and not take his medication on time. In the end he was finally admitted to a good care home. After some months he became very aggressive towards family and care home workers and demanded to back home, so social workers sanctioned this and he came home yesterday, against the wishes of family and the care home manager (who found the social worker to be unprofessional). So far, he has gone back to shaving his face, has ignored my mum and my sister and flooded the bathroom. We are at our wits end. The social worker when arriving with my dad yesterday said nothing to my mum or my sister, other than be sarcastic. We do not know what to do. He needs to register with a GP as he was under the GP in the care home, but has not the capacity to do this himself. The social workers deemed that he had the capacity to make his own decions; he makes decisions but the wrong ones. We would like for him to go back in the care home but do not trust the social workers. We were told by a former social worker that a meeting should include my dad, family members, the social work team, the care home management and dementia crisis team. But this never happened. We have been left on our own to try and deal with this. My mum has a failing heart and any stress could have very adverse affects, we told this to the social workers but they do not care and he was sent home. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[margherita]

I do not know how things work in the UK ( I am Italian), but I suppose there must be some authority to which you can report the social workers' unprofessional and irresponsible behaviour.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Triggers4766, you are welcome to TP and I hope you find support here
I don't have experience of a situation like this but I hope someone with experience will come along to answer you. From my own point of view, I would certainly make contact with the management of your local SS dept., and ask for a different SW. Do they have a web-site when you can make written contact and print a copy of all correspondence so that you have a paper trail?
In case you haven't seen it, and in the hope that you can get some useful information from it, here is a link to the AS Factsheet about assessment for care and support https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...assessment_for_care_in_support_in_england.pdf

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Triggers4766 welcome to TP

What a difficult situation you are all in.
My suggestion is that you google the emergency number for your SS and ask to to speak to a supervisor and insist that your Mum can’t cope with his behaviour and left to his own devices he his ‘a vulnerable adult’ and that you need help now,

 

[kindred]

My dad has vascular dementia. Before he was admitted to a care home, his behaviour was irrational. He would lock himself in the bathroom and not come out until the evening. She would use the time to shave his face as he believed that he had grease on his skin and sand in his eyes. He would not eat and not take his medication on time. In the end he was finally admitted to a good care home. After some months he became very aggressive towards family and care home workers and demanded to back home, so social workers sanctioned this and he came home yesterday, against the wishes of family and the care home manager (who found the social worker to be unprofessional). So far, he has gone back to shaving his face, has ignored my mum and my sister and flooded the bathroom. We are at our wits end. The social worker when arriving with my dad yesterday said nothing to my mum or my sister, other than be sarcastic. We do not know what to do. He needs to register with a GP as he was under the GP in the care home, but has not the capacity to do this himself. The social workers deemed that he had the capacity to make his own decions; he makes decisions but the wrong ones. We would like for him to go back in the care home but do not trust the social workers. We were told by a former social worker that a meeting should include my dad, family members, the social work team, the care home management and dementia crisis team. But this never happened. We have been left on our own to try and deal with this. My mum has a failing heart and any stress could have very adverse affects, we told this to the social workers but they do not care and he was sent home. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You need a statement of best interests that he would be better served in residential. Can you ask social worker supervisor to facilitate this? Your mum obviously cannot manage, this is too much. Thinking of you, thank you for posting.

 

[mumsgone]

My dad has vascular dementia. Before he was admitted to a care home, his behaviour was irrational. He would lock himself in the bathroom and not come out until the evening. She would use the time to shave his face as he believed that he had grease on his skin and sand in his eyes. He would not eat and not take his medication on time. In the end he was finally admitted to a good care home. After some months he became very aggressive towards family and care home workers and demanded to back home, so social workers sanctioned this and he came home yesterday, against the wishes of family and the care home manager (who found the social worker to be unprofessional). So far, he has gone back to shaving his face, has ignored my mum and my sister and flooded the bathroom. We are at our wits end. The social worker when arriving with my dad yesterday said nothing to my mum or my sister, other than be sarcastic. We do not know what to do. He needs to register with a GP as he was under the GP in the care home, but has not the capacity to do this himself. The social workers deemed that he had the capacity to make his own decions; he makes decisions but the wrong ones. We would like for him to go back in the care home but do not trust the social workers. We were told by a former social worker that a meeting should include my dad, family members, the social work team, the care home management and dementia crisis team. But this never happened. We have been left on our own to try and deal with this. My mum has a failing heart and any stress could have very adverse affects, we told this to the social workers but they do not care and he was sent home. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi and welcome to talking point. I'm assuming the care home have done their own assessment of your dad? It would seem the social worker in question has no real experience of dealing with a person with dementia.Please don't give up on your quest to get him back into a care home as this is what he obviously needs both for himself and the family. Suggest you harang social services at the earliest opportunity and put it to them that they are risking your mums health and that if anything happens you will hold them responsible. Not sure if it's possible but you could ask care home for any details they have about him on file and use it as back up. Was he self funded or was his care supported as it seems it's all about the money. Hope you manage to get things sorted