Hi I'm new

[Brucie]

Hey Storm - people like you keep my faith going in the goodness of the human species.

 

[GBBB]

Storm,

You have your hands full. I can see that. Lucky you have a partner who can help you. I know when my mother gets to that point, I will have to call in for help. Mom takes care to try to get to the toilet on time, but she does have accidents which she isn't able to take care of herself due to her poor sight. She was very smart and got herself some long-term care insurance which will help with the expense of having someone come to help me. Mom is very childlike and doesn't remember things I've told her several times either. It's hard not to lose your cool...I understand.

GBBB

Dear Rummy,I suppose it depends on the way dementia takes with the person you care for,we have been extremly lucky that mum has never wandered about or been violent ,she is incontinent at night and needs takeing to the toilet at regular times in the day or accidents happen but these things can be dealt with she is depentent on us totally but i am lucky because i can stay home to care for her.It was our choice to do this because she is family and i could not have lived with myself if we hadnt tried.Would i make the same choice again? yes because even if it is hard work and ties you down you do have good times just to hear her laugh at something on TV that maybe only a advert does you good she is happy safe and content thats reward enough,dont get me wrong i am no saint and when shes repeated something for the 100th time i could scream till the timbers rattled!she is part of our lives we accept that and get on with it.I have nothing against homes and are right for some people but i feel we made the right choice so far.I had the dr out today because of her sudden lack of mobility and pain not good news her knee is totally gone and he as given her stronger pain killers,luckly my husband is off work for 2wks so is helping me with the lifting as she cant bear weight at all.Were do we go from here? anyone got any ideas on moving her from bed to commode etc as i really need to be able to do it on my own? STORM

 

[Sandy]

Hi Storm,

anyone got any ideas on moving her from bed to commode etc as i really need to be able to do it on my own?

Have you had an Occupational Therapist(OT) come out and take a look at your set up? You should be able to arrange for an OT to visit via your mum's GP or social worker. They can be very helpful in arranging the loan/installation of specialist equipment and in giving advice on safe methods for lifting.

Take care,

Sandy

 

[storm]

Hi All,Thanks for your kind words and support it means a lot.We have not called in the OT yet as i am hoping she will improve,i have spoken to the carer who came today and she was telling me about the lifting aids available so i feel a lot better where theres a will theres a way!Next problem is the docter was talking about a knee replacement as this is the only way she would be free of pain it seems its either that or progressing on to morphine.Bearing in mind she is 92 and in the latter stages of A/D I would really like your thoughts on these ideas,i think i am verring against surgary because she would not have a clue what was happening to her and if anything is going to happen i want her to be at home.STORM

 

[rummy]

My brother had knee replacement when he was age 52. It took weeks of intense phsyical therapy to get him back on his feet. I would be hesitant to have it done to someone 92. That and the psychologist told us that anesthesia is very hard on AD folks as the brain has a harder time shaking the chemicals. You might just ask around about that.
Wishing you the best,
Rummy

 

[Sheila]

Hi Storm, how I remember what I felt like in your shoes when my Mum was alive and we did the same as you and your hubby. I am glad you have spoken to the carer about lifting techniques, these can help a lot. I can't help worrying as to whether your Mum could actually cope with an op though. Not just because of the not understanding, but also because of her age. Also, many have said on TP that anaesthetics can sometimes increase the dementia problems. If I were you, I would ask for a chat with both the team in charge of your Mum's dementia problems as well as the surgical team, then weigh it all up. It is not something any one but the professionals can advise on, they will know more of your Mum's over all condition and the most likely outcome. Thinking of you, love She. XX

 

[storm]

Hi Sheila, I have decided against any surgery for mum she is to far down the dementia road, i am still struggling with her and will have to make a decission soon about asking for reassesment i will give it till after the weekend.The funny thing is that she always as a small brandy about 7.30pm and when i come to put her to bed at 9pm she actually gets up with help of course and walks the few steps to her bed yet in the daytime icant get her to move her feet any further than a shuffle i assume its because she is more relaxed. The DR as prescibed zydol anyone heared of it? STORM

 

[Sheila]

Hi Storm, difficult decisions for you, sending you a big hug. I don't know if Zydol is a brand or generic name, will have a shufty on the net and see if I can find anything. Did they say it was for pain or to help her sleep or what? Have you checked out our medication factsheets? It could well be your Mum is more relaxed after her evening drink, perhaps the little tipple takes the edge off for her. If it does and the medics have no problem with it, keep it comin' I'd say! Lotsaluv, She. XX

 

[Sheila]

Hi Storm, Zydol is a brand name for Tramadol. This is a drug used to control pain. Love She. XX

 

[storm]

Hi all, Mum as stunned us all again! from being totally imobile on saturday she walk to the bathroom and i gave her a shower and she as continued making progress since then.I dont know what to make of this but who am i to question it.I was going to phone on monday to try and arrange a hoist for when hubby is back at work i dont know what to think now?I HAVE PUT MY BACK OUT BUT I THINK THAT WAS JUST LIFTING A PIECE OF PAPER OFF THE TABLE trust me. STORM

 

[connie]

Yeah, got the tea-shirt on this one......had to leave Lionel for one hour this morning to go to the 'beach hut' to deliver a canoe for the grandchildren.

Lionel...joins us... having locked up. put a jacket on...and found his way to the beach....10 mns most for you and I.....but at least 30 mins for Lionel.

To say I way 'gob smaked' was to say the least He is exhausted tonight........but excelled himself today. I do not know what to think, but go with the flow. Regards to all, Connie. (p.s. Lionel goes everywhere in a wheelchair)...............

 

[Norman]

Dear Connie
don't think about it just accept it.
Iv'e had a good day,no nastiness,no awkwardness, no arguing.
Tomorrow???????????????????? that's another day
Warm wishes
Norman

 

[Sheila]

Heyyy! Lets all raise a glass or two to the good times then! Lotsaluv, She. XX

 

[GBBB]

Hi Storm

Hope your back is better by now.

I am excited to say that my Mom is being taken care of by my brother. He kicked and screamed, but I am off to Colorado on the 18th. We all need a break.

I admire you for being able to give mom a shower. My mother will not let me help her. She holds onto a bar we had installed with one hand and soaps herself up with the other hand. Showering takes alot out of her and I find that she is trying hard to catch her breath when she finally sits down. Is that normal?

Gigi

Hi all, Mum as stunned us all again! from being totally imobile on saturday she walk to the bathroom and i gave her a shower and she as continued making progress since then.I dont know what to make of this but who am i to question it.I was going to phone on monday to try and arrange a hoist for when hubby is back at work i dont know what to think now?I HAVE PUT MY BACK OUT BUT I THINK THAT WAS JUST LIFTING A PIECE OF PAPER OFF THE TABLE trust me. STORM

 

[trendy]

Hello. I'm a newby from USA. Seems like lots of these posts are from Britain, but we all seem to be having the same sort of problems. My mother has been diagnosed with dimentia and over the past few months has been showing signs of losing interest in life as she knows it. We had her going to the senior-center every day by bus, but now she sleeps in until it is too late for her to go. She is also losing her sight. She has imacular degeneration and cateracts. Thus it is hard for her to read anything anymore. She is 87 and up until now has been fairly happy with her life. I live in with her as I pay her bills for her and take care of the household chores. I need to know that there are other people as frustrated as I am right now.

Thank you!

GBBB

HI IAM NEW AS WELL JUST FOUND OUT MY MAM HAS ALZHEIMERS IAM SO FRUSTRATED AS NOT NO IN MUCH ABOUT IT IAM WORKIN AT THE THE MIN AND LOOKIN AFTER MY GRANDSON WHO IS TO AND NOW LOOKIN AFTER MAM A LOT MORE AND KNOWING THING R NOT GOING 2 GET BETTER WITH MAM ITS JUST SO SAD FOR EVERY ONE WHO IS GOING THOUGH ALL THIS WE HAVE TO JUST KEEP GOING AND BE STRONG THANKS

 

[Sheila]

Hi Trendy, welcome to TP, please keep posting, hope we can help keep your spirits up, caring for someone with dementia is a hard task. We all do our best to be there for each other on here. Love She. XX