Can some-one help me and my mum (72). She was diagnosed with CVD about a yr ago, although we have weekly 'days of reckoning' that she understands that she has in her own words ' a bit of a memory problem'. In April I moved her 60 miles to be nearer to us - so I could help her - no-one was looking after her, although she believes she was 'doing ok on her own', although she could not afford her house, she was very lonely on her own, forgetting Doctor appointments and all sorts. She was very ill in Oct/Nov and dropped 3 dress sizes. I found it difficult to get to see her due to distance. She now lives in a beautiful appartment and capable of feeding, washing shopping and looking after herself. She could if she chose have a really good life. She is trying really hard at making friends and succeeding which is great. Mum is terribly depressed and I am being dragged down too. It is affecting my marriage and my children with her nastiness. I want to protect my family and myself - but I am not doing very well. No -one has mentioned how manipulating suffers can be.. is this normal? It is my fault I moved her here, although she would cry to me like a baby to 'get her out of her house'. I have depressing ansaphone messages 10 - 12 a day sometimes saying that her life is awful and wish she was back in the South. My birthday was ruined as she made me feel so guilty that I was enjoying myself and she was not invited, however if was a BBQ with my friends & their children 16 of us which she would of hated. Even if she were here she would not join in and be moreose and depressing. My friends say to 'harden up' don't take it personally' but the verbal battering and repetition is endless. Early morning and late night phone-calls are becoming exhausting. What do I do? Where do I go from here? It is only going to get worse? I had a beautiful image that Mum would be with us to enjoy our family life but she is making my/our lives a misery. There is no joy or laughs, just aggression, blaming, martyr tears (I've done this for you, but I don't want to be here and you don't want me here) and then she forgets and everything is alright and I feel as though I have gone through an emotional trauma. She accuses me of all sorts of things that are just not true. We now have come to a place where I have to agree with her....but it really hurts. I don't have to be right, but again 'I' m the one who is in the wrong which gives her more to blame me and I am beginning to resent her being around. Does anyone have any tools to help.? I have contacted her doctor and she has a new appointment with a doctor consultant phyciatrist up here - she is supposedly on anti-depressants but I don't think she takes them. She is also loosing weight, feeling sick and with panic attacks but is taking no other medication apart from asprin. Please help.. I'm a little bit desperate .. but that was quite cathartic!!