Hi I'm a newbie. 😘 Mum has Alzheimers

[Marmalademudpie]

Hi all

I'm currently sorting mums medical care, food shopping, care visits from care company. Run a rota between siblings. I suffer with m.e myself so struggle with it all as I crash n 'burn.
Anyway can anyone help me understand a few things I've filled in her financial assistance form after over 12 months of not doing it, due to my own health. I don't understand how it works. It's towards the adult social care support at home. She has 9,500 in bank, Attendance allowance full higher award. No assets, state pension, pension credit guarantee. No property owned. First question....
Do they take most of her money towards the in her home care? 4 visits day.
If she goes into residential, and say council award 700 at a stab guess, do they pay that then we add her pension and AA on top to make it higher?
I'm even wondering if it is a good idea to make my downstairs in my house livable to her needs so I'm on hand, but I'm not up to the reg caring myself. Any advice re this appreciated. She has had x 3 falls in the night and adult social care seem to think she's still OK in her own home alone. She went loo in the kitchen bin the other night as she's alone, she's increasingly anxious and scared when left 😢😔

 

[canary]

Hello @Marmalademudpie

It sounds to me as though your mum really needs to be in a care home, but I know that Social Services will not generally agree to this unless the person with dementia has tried having in carers 4 times a day and this has been shown to be insufficient. SS wont normally fund more than this in someones own home, so the next step would be a care home.

Do they take most of her money towards the in her home care? 4 visits day.

As your mum has less than £16,000 in savings, SS would fully fund 4 care visits a day (but not more)

If she goes into residential, and say council award 700 at a stab guess, do they pay that then we add her pension and AA on top to make it higher?

Unfortunately not, no.
She would lose her AA and she would have to pay her pension (less about £30 a week) towards her fees and the Local Authority would pay the rest up to a total of however much they set - which in your case sounds like £700 a week

I'm even wondering if it is a good idea to make my downstairs in my house livable to her needs so I'm on hand, but I'm not up to the reg caring myself.

Dont do it.
As I explained, SS wont fund more than 4 carer slots (usually half an hour) a day. This means that she will still be on her own for 22 hrs a day - or rather, you will be on your own with her for 22 hrs a day. It sounds like she is up getting into problems during the night, so would you be able to sleep? If shes lonely, or frightened, she wont stay in her part of the home, but will want to be with you. You may not want to be involved with the regular caring, but if you are on hand, then Im sorry to say, it will be you that will be expected to do it. And all the while you are there, SS will be even less likely to recommend she moves into a care home

BTW, when looking at care homes, dont be blinded by the decor or flashy facilities (would she actually use them?) - look at the care given and how the carers interact with the residents. More expensive is not always better. Many of us (including me) have had our relative move into a care home at the lower end of the market and found the care excellent and the slightly shabby furniture doesnt matter

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Marmalademudpie and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a great community of members with a wealth of experience about all things related to dementia. I am sorry to hear about your situation. You've had some great advice from @canary, which I can't add much to. It does seem that admission to a care home is the most appropriate way to ensure your mum's safety and wellbeing. You are already doing so much. Trying to care for your mum in your home seems almost bound to fail and will not be in her best interests or yours. You need to be clear to social services that you cannot provide for your mum's growing needs. They may need some convincing that she can't manage at home and that carer visits are insufficient. If you fill in the gaps they'll happily let you go on doing it.

As for care homes, avoid the ones that are "all top show" and aimed at impressing relatives. They will be too expensive anyway and may not cater for more advanced dementia. My wife's care home is domestic in scale, not luxurious but clean and tidy. The approach to promoting independence and personalised care is what struck me. That's more important than 'facilities' that may be of no interest to the person with dementia.

My wife makes a contribution to costs from her pension income, with the balance and larger share paid for by the Local Authority.

I hope that this helps. Please don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions. We will do our best to answer.