Helppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by lors, Apr 17, 2008.

  1. lors

    lors Registered User

    Apr 17, 2008
    4
    Hiya,im wondering if anyone can advise me .here goes...my dad has Dementia,he is at the stage where he doesnt speak,he is unable to feed or care for himself in any way,he is incontinent,he is unable to walk unaided(even then the person helping him has to take his whole body weight)..he is bad...but hey we still have him!!...so my mum is his carer...she has just been diagnosed with Angina,has asthma and arthritis and back problems...they also live in a 3 story house...(lounge,kitchen/stairs/hall loo/stairs/bedrooms)..now my mum got social services in to see about a home carer to help her with him and was told health and safety prevents them from doing so..its too dangerous for their staff!the OT immediatley got onto the council for priority rehousing...that was october 2007...well now they are still in the house,living in the lounge,dad on single bed,mum on couch,my dad is now double incontinent,as he cant get to the loo,and he hasnt had a shower for months,he cant get to the shower,he has the pleasure of a bucket and sponge bath,my mum can hardly lift him,he has a commode which he doesnt fit on..his bum hangs over the back of it defeating the purpose of it!oh and he has a wheelchair(bought by us not social serices)but he hasnt been out in it because they have stairs back and front door(we bought it when he was still able to walk aided,so hey he cant leave the house either..lets hope their isnt a fire cos my mum would have to navigate her way through the bed/sofa/recliner chair,wheelchair ..all in the lounge ....i have been on to the council umpteen times,they both have every medical letter supporting them you can imagine...every health proffesional who visits is horrified that my mum is doing all this alone...we have a meeting with an advocate for disabled peoples housing tomorrow,she is going to push the council...what elso can we do?...i go from sad to raging..if they had a suitable house,they would get home care!!!is this crazy??to be honest my dads happy in his own way,my mum is well past breaking point,and is lucky if she gets to go to asda for an hour once a week,its timed round his feeding/toilet times as i cannot lift him to do it..help,anyone who has any advice or suggestions ..by the way hhi to everyone...
     
  2. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    541
    Hello lors

    I think you ought to tell your M.P. what you have told us. And I think you should do it as quickly as you can. You could also consider contacting the media (but you would need to think carefully about publicity). These two moves could speed things up significantly. Our local newspaper has something called "Crusader" which is designed to help people when all else fails.

    Good luck and best wishes lors because this is an apalling story and needs to be resolved a.s.a.p.

    Love Helen
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,903
    Kent
    This story is shocking.

    I would get as much publicity as possible to try to get better conditions for your parents. Whatever the after effects of the publicity, nothing could be worse than the conditions they are living in now.

    If Social Services are not prepared to think outside the box, perhaps they can be persuaded by alternative means.
     
  4. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,854
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Lors,

    Has your Dad had a community care assessment and has your mum had a carer's assessment? Have you received copies of them? This is my 'bee in a bonnet' at the moment having spent a few hours today reading the guidelines on the Dept of Health's and my local council's websites. Opened my eyes a bit.

    And welcome to TP! :)
     
  5. Short girl

    Short girl Registered User

    Mar 22, 2008
    60
    Hi

    This story is indeed shocking - did social services say exactly why care cannot be provided? Did they do a risk assessment? I can see there are manual handling risks here, has any equipment been provided such as hoist?? Was there difficultly in terms of space contraint? I would also be concerned about the risk of your Dad developing pressure areas and other health related risk that can so easily arise here.
    If it is an accommodation issues, which it seems to be, i feel that some big noises need to be made before, somebody ends up requiring hospital admission or the situation serious breaks down.
    Good luck and I hope this is resolved - you mum needs support right now in her caring role.
     
  6. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi
    I am also shocked reading this story.

    Do you have a CPN involved, or an eldery peoples team?

    Can your Mum and Dad's GP, do anything to help?

    In my experience, with SS, until you threaten that you are definately at the end of your tether and you refuse to care for the sufferer, any longer, they will do very little.

    SS have a duty of care, in that, they have to supply care, to those who have been assessed as needing it.

    Has your father had a care needs assessment? Has your mother had a carer's assessment?

    Sorry for all the questions.

    Take care
    Alfjess
     
  7. lors

    lors Registered User

    Apr 17, 2008
    4
    hi the risk assesment was done last september and the OT stopped it within 5 minutes(her words were "this is bad i dont need to see anymore),was so horrified she went straight to the council and got all the forms for my mum,as their are 3 levels to the house,we were told its too risky for a carer to come in and help with toileting and getting him to bed etc,it is an accomodation issue,in amenity housing the home care would "kick in",this is all made worse by the fact my mum was an officer in charge at our local elderly peoples home for over 20 years and was forced to take early retirment 10 years ago due to her ill health...and she was far fitter then...its a council issue,they lost her application for 3 months,even simple things like getting his bedpads delivered takes chasing up,every aid my mum has,she has bought apart from the ill fitting commode.I think speaking to my mp who is Gordon Brown is the next step.
     
  8. lors

    lors Registered User

    Apr 17, 2008
    4
    sorry in reply to the question about the GP,she has provided letters for them both and phoned the council,the Cardioligist who saw mum this week and stated her situation is a major cause of her angina,has also submitted one,thing is each time one goes in their application seems to go for re assesment...where it is "pending" or "awaiting assesment"...brick wall,as i said we have an advocate from disabled peoples housing services visiting tomorrow am hoping maybe they can advise us,and get something moving.
    thanks for all replies........i will pop back and let you all know how it goes xxxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Sorry for your situation,it must be taking its toll on you and your mum.The advice i offer may not be nice for you,but i have a lot of experience with families suffering like you are.Wait and see what the advocate has to say by all means.They can often offer a solution to many problems.plan b,if you have no joy with the advocate,may be,and i have known this to happen,is that uou phone your local social services duty desk and express that your concerns have now entered the stage of dire concern not only for your father,your mums health issues are at stake given the care he needs.am sorry it sounds like your playing s game,but sometimes you have to play it to get the care needed.love elainex
     
  10. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Hi Lors

    I think you have received some very good advice. I would be for following up with publicity. Where has good old fashioned common sense gone?

    (((((Hugs))))

    Mameeskye
     
  11. lors

    lors Registered User

    Apr 17, 2008
    4
    Hi ..advocate has been and she had some good ideas,she is our way into Social services and Council bosses,we are lucky to get as far as the person on the front desk,she has already been in touch with head of housing and head of social work,i have pushed for a re assesment from the OT,but im not going to assume advocate will wave a magic wand...so i will keep pushing the housing and SS myself(i get me a pair of boxing gloves!!)
    I am so glad i found this forum!!thanks to all of you for your advice...xxxxxxxx
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,903
    Kent
    Good news so far Lors, but things shouldn`t have got to this stage in the first place.
    Don`t count on anything until you see action being taken.
     
  13. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    541
    Well done lors. You might need them boxing gloves for 'just in case'!! :) Did the advocate give you any idea on time scale as to when you might get this situation resolved? I think this just helps to keep a realistic head in desperate circumstances. The MP could escalate matters forward and perhaps you could consider talking to the advocate about what she/he feels about getting the MP involved.

    Love Helen
     
  14. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    Gosh what a shocking situation.

    I would always recommend going to the MP when no one else is getting things moving fast enough - all government departments (as far as I can establish) have to jump at an official enquiry from MPs or Cheif Executive - they have to respond to the complain/query within (I think) 7 to 10 days so it gets a far faster response than anything else.

    Good luck!!!
     
  15. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Dear Lors ... just caught up with this thread and the only word that sprung to mind was 'barbaric'. This is such a ridiculous state of affairs - I know at mum's last hospital stay I was required to manouevre her wheelchair through the wards as nursing staff were no longer allowed to on 'health and safety grounds' - and no - we couldn't wait two hours for the next porter - who presumably was suitably insured to come along ..... GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggrrrrr. Sorry, not much earthly help - other than if 'conditions' are not safe for staff how on earth can anyone cope with actually living and caring in the accommodation .... ???? It is just bizarre!!!!!

    Huge hugs, Karen, x
     
  16. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    Cut and paste all you have related onto an e mail for your MP and for the secretary of State for Care Ivan Lewis MP. You can get their e mail addresses if you put 'MP's into your search engine. This is a most distressing account of how your mum and dad have been living and must not be allowed to continue in what we laughingly call a 'civilised 21st Century' !!!

    xxTinaT
     
  17. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    theres all kinds of perspectives on health and safety.and i disagree with karens post.To know the indides and outs of health and safety,especially for the elederly,comes from training.if it's said that there are health and safety issues,then there are issues that concern the resident aswell as staff.we all in the care profession abide by the HSE.love elainex
     
  18. mrennie25@btint

    mrennie25@btint Registered User

    Apr 18, 2008
    7
    glasgow
    get to the papers and let them know what your mum and dad are living like that should move the council to rehouse them
     
  19. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    I don't mind anyone disagreeing Elaine - but when you risk breaking your back as a non-paid carer trying to look after a loved one in their own home .... it is very different to being an employee in a residential home ..... People who are trying to provide care and maintain people in private (individual) homes have neither Health or Safety training nor personal insurance ... and please God no-one mention that out loud else we'll have to fill out forms and take out insurance before we try to 'person'-handle a loved one into a bath or allow them to press a button on a microwave for crying out loud!!!!!:eek::(

    The difference between being a paid (employed) carer and a non-paid carer is about as wide as the Grand Canyon - which is precisely the point ..... no-one should expect someone to 'care' in conditions they don't expect a paid employee to ..... that many of us do is because we have no choice and no legal responsibilty to such as HSE acts within people's own homes .....:mad:

    Karen
     
  20. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Lors

    What about copying the letter to your counselor, MSP, head of SS, as well as Gordon Brown, that way you have covered all bases.

    Good luck
    Alfjess
     

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