1. jackthelad19199

    jackthelad19199 New member

    Thursday
    6
    hello my partner was diagnosed with vascular dementia 2years ago yet he has had little or no support from consultants gps etc i have constantly tried to get advice help advice for him and we have both spent hour after hour trying to explain to doctors how this dreadful illness effects people yet it falls on deaf ears my partner has now sucidal thoughts often but no one seems to care can any one offer any help or advice please
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,276
    Yorkshire
    Hello @jackthelad19199
    A warm welcome to DTP

    Sorry to hear that you are getting no recognition of your situation

    I'd go back to the GP and consultant, tell them what you have written here and ask for a referral to the Community Psychiatric Team... let them know your husband is a 'vulnerable adult' who is 'at risk of harm' due to his stated thoughts of self harm... Don't just call them, send email and letter (keep a copy) so that you create a paper trail to prove you have made them aware

    You might also contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an assessment of your husband's care needs stressing that he is thinking of harming himself so you are concerned for his safety... use the phrases above and also that you fear this may become a safeguarding issue

    For support, contact Admiral Nurses
    https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/

    And there's the Dementia Helpline to talk with one of the knowledgeable advisors
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline

    Keep posting too
     
  3. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,606
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome from me too @jackthelad19199

    You'll find people on this forum understand so keep posting.
     
  4. jackthelad19199

    jackthelad19199 New member

    Thursday
    6
    thank u everybody i hate criticizing nhs doctors etc but i have to say since my husbands diagnose his gp has not even bothered to ask how hes getting on only before xmas i requested a review of his medication some hes been on for some years i know he gets very angry about their attitude has i do he can t at times get painkillers on repeat the only help hes had from his gp surgery is from a diabetic nurse but thats another story thank u one and all
     
  5. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,606
    Nottinghamshire
    To be honest @jackthelad19199 Im not sure that doctors have any idea what to do when they’re faced with an incurable disease. Some are better than others. Some are brilliant others, frankly, clueless.

    I didn’t find The medical profession particularly helpful while I was looking after my dad. I know a lot of the time I felt I was clutching at straws. The one thing that helped me through more than anything was this forum. Someone would always come along - not necessarily with a solution - but always with ideas and compassion. Stay with us and we’ll do our best to support you.
     
  6. jackthelad19199

    jackthelad19199 New member

    Thursday
    6
    thank u its been a lonely journey so far i have tried telling his doctors has i should know his progress has i see him24hours a day know hes practically given up on his independence his consultant even talked about discharging him last time untill i firmly said no jack took this really bad has he saw it has his days were numbered keep up the good work
     
  7. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,086
    Female
    South coast
    When mum was seen at the memory clinic, she had an initial testd, was sent for a scan, then went back for the diagnosis. As it was Alzheimers she was then seen a few times to make sure that she was OK on her tablets and then discharged. They never offered any help or advice in how to cope (except for a handful of leaflets). I know that in some areas they check people with dementia every 6 months, but personally I cant see any reason for that. As carers we can see the decline - it doesnt need to be documented, it was becoming increasingly hard to get mum to go to any appointments and there wasnt any further treatment that could be offered anyway. What are you expecting from the doctors?
     
  8. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    614
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    Maybe not, but personally I would like some kind of contact with the medical profession when struggling with my husband. I just feel I've been left on my own. TP is the only help I get and I think we should have more back-up.
     
  9. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,086
    Female
    South coast
    I think its more help from Social Services that we need - the doctors cant do anything unless its for something like aggressiveness or paranoia and you can get referred back to the doctor for that at the moment. I agree that we are just left on our own to cope, but most of the problems are things like the accusations, not wanting to shower, not being able to leave them, loss of mobility and incontinence. These are not things that the doctors can do anything about.
     
  10. White Rose

    White Rose Registered User

    Nov 4, 2018
    231
    Agree more help from Social Services needed, my experience is that we're just left on our own with no contact with any services. Just the occasional home visit would be so nice, just to know you're on their radar, a friendly face to pop in and see how things are going, even if nothing can be done. Many dementia carers are completely isolated in their ever shrinking world - it's not a nice place to be.
     
  11. Joyt

    Joyt Registered User

    Jun 30, 2018
    42
    I couldn’t agree more. The responsibility and isolation is terrible. A regular visit from any service would be such a life saver. I was fortunate to have someone come from OH following a fall my husband had. Her department was being privatised and by hugely lucky chance her workload was temporarily reduced. She took it on herself to ‘see’ him for several weeks but in reality she was seeing me.
     
  12. vannesser

    vannesser Registered User

    Apr 4, 2016
    264
    My oh was diagnosed 4 years ago with vascale.he when’s throw a grace of wonting to end it all . I saw docters and they gave him depression pills .
    You need to tell your doctor you are conserved he might be depress and need something .

    I was told when my husband was diagnosed they don’t give pill for it only if he gets a illness thay give you antiebiy the rest of time is Andes it best you can
    Keep posting on here get a lot of advice xxxx
     
  13. jackthelad19199

    jackthelad19199 New member

    Thursday
    6
    like many of us when the big D is diagnosed its a new and scary journey many of us inlcuding my partner are confused what to expect i dont expect appointments every 5mins but a 15min apointment every 6months seems to me doctors playing a guessing game
     

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