Mum (77) widowed 5 years ago, has been diagnosed with 'unspecifed dementia ' ( as she refuses the MRI scan & memory clinic appt)
3 weeks ago we had to put the family dog to sleep, he was mums life to put it mildly, he was 13, bad heart & could hardly walk.
Mum was with me & my husband when we took dog to the vets, all very traumatic, lots of tears etc.
However, mum seems to have blocked this completely, she will acknowledge most days the dog has gone, but has it in her reality that we have ' killed her dog without telling her'
We've had the dog cremated, his ashes are in a wooden casket on her bookshelf, along with the crematorium paperwork, dated, yet she says we've made that up.
It's now constant phone calls start in the evening and no matter what response I give, whether I go along with ' yes we did have him put down ' // he's with you, read the paperwork// to going round there to console her....... nothing seems to click.
2 nights ago we were out , got home to 6 messages on home phone & then by the morning,20 messages on our mobiles lasting till 3 in the morning and she had even reported the dog stolen to the police!!
That morning when we saw her, she could not stop apologising for the calls, had realised what she had done & called the police bag to apologise to them. So I know some understanding is there.
Any guidance in dealing with this? Before the dog died, I had evenings calls asking where dad was....but she accepted me telling her he was gone...but the dog, she can't seem to get.
Sorry. What a ramble..I know this may seem trivial to some compared to what others are going through, but I am at a loss as what to do.
Or maybe just accept this is the way it is.........
Thanks for reading
Sas xxx
3 weeks ago we had to put the family dog to sleep, he was mums life to put it mildly, he was 13, bad heart & could hardly walk.
Mum was with me & my husband when we took dog to the vets, all very traumatic, lots of tears etc.
However, mum seems to have blocked this completely, she will acknowledge most days the dog has gone, but has it in her reality that we have ' killed her dog without telling her'
We've had the dog cremated, his ashes are in a wooden casket on her bookshelf, along with the crematorium paperwork, dated, yet she says we've made that up.
It's now constant phone calls start in the evening and no matter what response I give, whether I go along with ' yes we did have him put down ' // he's with you, read the paperwork// to going round there to console her....... nothing seems to click.
2 nights ago we were out , got home to 6 messages on home phone & then by the morning,20 messages on our mobiles lasting till 3 in the morning and she had even reported the dog stolen to the police!!
That morning when we saw her, she could not stop apologising for the calls, had realised what she had done & called the police bag to apologise to them. So I know some understanding is there.
Any guidance in dealing with this? Before the dog died, I had evenings calls asking where dad was....but she accepted me telling her he was gone...but the dog, she can't seem to get.
Sorry. What a ramble..I know this may seem trivial to some compared to what others are going through, but I am at a loss as what to do.
Or maybe just accept this is the way it is.........
Thanks for reading
Sas xxx