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Help on getting information from doctors

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by emma24, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. emma24

    emma24 Registered User

    Sep 10, 2006
    Telford, Shropshire
    Hello everyone,

    I wrote before how my Grandad is struggiling to look after my nan.

    After finally having the oppurtunity to talk to him on his own i have found out that he never gets chance to speak to my nan's doctors on his own. Whenever they speak to her she always say's that everything is fine when to my grandad it obviously isn't but he doesn't want to contridict her in front of them. She goes to the memory clinic every copule of months and she has a consultant at our local mental health hospital but he doesn't know if she has a cpn nurse and i know she hasn't got a social worker.

    What i am asking you all is there anyway i can find out this information and if anyone knows if they will even speak to me as i am only her grand - daughter not her next of kin or her carer. I am just trying to find away of trying to relive some of the pressure from my grandad as i can not physically help as i can not get there easily and my uncle is a useless fool who doesn't even offer to help even though he only lives five minutes away.

    sorry for carrying on any advice would be gratefully recived

  2. sunny

    sunny Registered User

    Sep 1, 2006
    getting help

    Please ask your grandad to contact his local social care team, you can find out the number for him. He now needs to ask for help in looking after his wife, and also his local Alzheimer Society office or the head office branch, what about that for a start. He must now make tracks to get help. I know its very difficult for you to watch all this. If I can think of anything else I let u know.
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Emma

    If your Granddad has no objection, feel free to ask the medics for dtails of your gran`s condition.

    When my husband was diagnosed, and saw different consultants, I was so emotional, I would get home not having asked half the questions I wanted to. It`s the same old story of thinking of all the questions you should have asked hours later.

    I gave my son permission to discuss his father, and the medics were quite happy to answer his questions. He was then able to give me the details.

    I can see how much you want to help and I`m sure your granddad is glad to have your support.

    Take care Grannie G
  4. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    getting help

    MY hubby has dementia
    A nd one of the things like your Grandad i find hard is to contridict my hubby in front of doctors what i find helps with me is to write to doctor before we go and say the way i see things but ask not to tell hubby i have wrote
    When hubby is saying he is ok i can not go in all the resons i know he is not that would be like putting him down
    hope is of some help
    Love Bel x
  5. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Hi Emma. Getting information FROM doctors can be a problem without your nan's direct authority for them to disclose anything to anyone - whether that be next of kin or not..... if the questions are of fairly 'general' nature then I would say - give it a go and ask away. You can only be refused.

    Perhaps one way to help would be for you to GIVE them the information you have shared here.....

    Even if you get no information directly it will alert her doctors to the situation and 'put the ball in their court' (if they are not already aware of what's going on during 'consultations') as to how to help both your nan and your grandad better....

    Just an idea,

    Your grandad is obviously and quite naturally trying to 'protect' but in doing so he is perhaps not getting the local support he needs for himself..... well done you for seeking ways to help.

    Love Karen, (TF), x
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    That`s just what I do bel.

    I know my husband will tell the doctors he`s better now, because that`s what he tells me, when he`s OK.

    I have always written to the doctors before we keep an appointment, to update them with the true story, and the doctors have always taken notice.

    They know all the ins and outs of AD and how, on the surface, everything seems fine.

    They also believe the Carers who experience the whole range of behaviours, not just those put on show for the benefit of the Medics.

    If our AD/VD sufferers are to get the best treatment, the medics must know the truth.

    Take care Grannie G

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