HELP! My dad has been whisked off to hospital-was it the right thing at this stage??

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by overwhelmed1, Dec 22, 2015.

  1. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Thank you to all.

    Such a shock as, although my dad was clearly in late stage, we didn't expect him to just suddenly die. His heart stopped apparently. I just feel so sorry for what this disease did to my dad who was only 72. It all seems so very wrong. So cruel x
     
  2. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    The hospital said my dad had a chest infection and died of blood poisoning but he had no temperature, although he was delirious. The coroner wants a postmortem but why if they claim to know he had a chest infection.
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,429
    I'm so sorry to hear about your father.

    Re the postmortem: I imagine that they are concerned about the blood poisoning aspect: just because he had a believed chest infection doesn't mean there couldn't have been something else going on as well. Postmortems are generally requested when the diagnosis that has been given doesn't explain why the person died.
     
  4. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,912
    Suffolk
    So sorry, overwhelmed. Somebody I know ( not dementia) died in hospital and there had to be a post mortem. Unfortunately, the coroner still wasn't satisfied but issued an interim death certificate. Not an easy time for the bereaved. But my thoughts are with you at this difficult time
     
  5. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    My condolences overwhelmed1. Your dad is at peace now . I hope you find peace soon too and remember all the good memories . Lou x
     
  6. theunknown

    theunknown Registered User

    Apr 17, 2015
    325
    You're in my thoughts, 'overwhelmed' x
     
  7. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    So sorry for your loss xx
     
  8. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I am sorry to hear your news - the pathway was very rocky for you and I hope that you are now peaceful as your Dad is now at peace and that you will treasure all the happy memories of your brave and funny Dad. Thinking of youxx
     
  9. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,704
    Male
    Bristol
    That sounds like it came as a huge shock. Nothing to add except deepest condolences.
     
  10. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    4,999
    UK
    I'm sorry for your loss. Nothing can take away the pain you are feeling but at least his pain has stopped and he is at peace.
     
  11. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Thank you to all for your posts. It is comforting to know people on here understand. I have had a difficult day. Looking after my poor mum who was married 47 years and never spent a night away from my dad. She is 70. I can't get the images out of my dad lying dead in that hospital bed. Also all the memories of his painful deterioration. Still can't believe it. I just can't bear to think of him alone in the chapel of rest. All alone. Heartbroken x
     
  12. Maymab

    Maymab Registered User

    Oct 8, 2013
    216
    Staffs
    So sorry to hear about your loss, and very sorry that you are finding it so difficult.
    My husband went through very much the same as your father before succumbing to pneumonia a few months ago.

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  13. velocity

    velocity Registered User

    Feb 18, 2013
    174
    North Notts
    I'm sorry for your loss.
     
  14. Maymab

    Maymab Registered User

    Oct 8, 2013
    216
    Staffs
    Tried to get in touch yesterday but my Nexus is playing up. Will try again later. Thinking of you.

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  15. Maymab

    Maymab Registered User

    Oct 8, 2013
    216
    Staffs
    Hi overwhelmed
    Will have to make this short as still having problems with tablet (keeps switching off).
    It is very short early days yet for you. Give yourselves time to come to terms with the situation and try to get some rest. I myself have found that things do get a little better as time goes by. It is nearly 5 months since I lost Bob and he is always in my thoughts but I am comforted that he no longer has to bear the effects of having dementia.
    My love and thoughts are with you.

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  16. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Overwhelmed, I thought I would check in and say hello and I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. I am sure your Christmas Day was very difficult.

    I hope you are able to get some rest, if not sleep, and some relief from all the emotions and pain you must be feeling right now.
     
  17. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Thank you for your kind words. I think, with alzheimers type diseases, it's the trauma of the whole process that is so hard to deal with; the fact that I feel my dad should still be here with us as he was only 65 when the whole nightmare started. I feel so pitifully sorry for him that he had to go through at least 7 years of heartbreak x
     
  18. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Hi Amy,

    You are kind to check in on me. It means a lot to know I am not alone and others understand this particular disease and the devastation it causes. I am OK, just still can't believe it's happened. One day my dad was talking to my son about his car (as best he could), next week he died x
     
  19. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    I think what you're feeling is perfectly natural given the circumstances. Of course you are distressed (upset, angry, unhappy, outraged, sad, maybe all of that?) that your father suffered from this cruel disease. And of course nobody wants anyone they care about to suffer in any way, let alone, as you say, with dementia. It's so awful.

    And I definitely know that feeling of thinking he should still be here with you and your family (my father also died at a relatively young age, although not from dementia). The suddenness of it all must have been such a shock.

    It's such a horrible, difficult time and I am so sorry.

    I do think that here on TP, none of us are ever alone.
     
  20. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    xx I hope that this experience will enable me to help others. I don't want my dad's suffering to be in vain.
     

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