HELP! My dad has been whisked off to hospital-was it the right thing at this stage??

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by overwhelmed1, Dec 22, 2015.

  1. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    My dad is in late stage alzheimers I believe (to be honest I think he has lewy bodies). Over the past few weeks he has really struggled to walk and has got aggressive with us due to his confusion etc. Speech has been going etc. A few days ago he ended up in bed and then stayed there and seemed to be delirious. The doctor couldn't find any evidence of any infection. Today, a different doctor has been out to assess him. He was lying in bed, staring into space, trying to talk and talking randomly (still delirious) not able to get hardly anything past his lips. The doctor said he must go to hospital to have a drip etc as is very dehydrated.

    My issue is...why couldn't hospital at home do that? Now I feel utterly desperate because I feel that is it now...he is in the hands of a hospital that he has been to before with pancreatic issues and he was so distressed. The care was appalling.

    I feel he was at end of life and should be let go if this is the end in his home surrounded by his family.

    This disease is absolutely heart breaking, absolutely horrendous.
     
  2. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,123
    Male
    North Manchester
    "The doctor said he must go to hospital to have a drip etc as is very dehydrated.

    My issue is...why couldn't hospital at home do that? "


    Rehydrating by an intravenous (IV) drip can make a big improvement. All IV intervention requires a doctor to be available.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    actually our home first does IV drips - but my Ma was also refused the service by a consultant. I suggest that you talk to the hospital doctor tomorrow and ask them to arrange Hospital at home - tell them that he wants to be at home and that he is more comfortable and less stressed in his own environment and see if they will arrange it - they may agree that they will after a 24 hour spell in hospital xxxx I do understand how you feel xxx
     
  4. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Yes, I will. Thank you for that advice. When I asked the doctors etc about hospital at home, they said if he is at risk of ripping the drip out, then hospital at home no good as they only come twice a day etc.

    I just want it to all end for him x
     
  5. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    My dad has been in hospital overnight on a drip...this morning...no change in his condition.

    If his state is due to mental deterioration not a virus etc, will he be allowed home? If he won't accept fluids/food, will he be able to come home?

    :( so sad, I cried all night. I can't bear to see him in hospital. I will just cry constantly, it will be ridiculous.
     
  6. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    I would ask the medics whether they think drips are going to do any good in the long run - after he goes home, will he soon be back in the same state again, and be taken back to hospital, only to repeat the cycle?

    I say this because we were asked concerning an aunt with late stage dementia who had begun to refuse food and drink. I asked the GP what he would do if it were his much loved aunt, and he said that if she went to hospital for drips, it would only be an interim measure - the same thing would happen again quite soon. He said he would leave her where she was, in the familiar surroundings of her lovely care home - he felt that hospital would only be unnecessarily distressing for her.

    The thing is, I think a lot of hospital medics are terrified of being accused of neglect, or 'callously allowing someone to die', and the fact is that some relatives do want absolutely everything possible done to keep someone going, no matter how pitiful the state they are in, and become very upset and indignant if anyone suggests it might be kinder to let Nature take its course.
     
  7. Ellaroo

    Ellaroo Registered User

    Nov 16, 2015
    161
    Liverpool
    Hospital will give him a thorough check up, blood tests etc and hopefully will be home for xmas. He may improve , so they are giving him a chance.
    Thinking of you
     
  8. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Thank you for your reply.
    He's not improved so far. Like the above post, I fear that if he comes home, how is he going to be kept hydrated etc?
    If it were my choice, I would stop forcing him to eat and drink and let him go. I would put a stop to all this suffering. He has suffered enough. I think the hospital should recognise this. I hope they do and let him come home.

    I can't bear to see him in that hospital. I am finding all this harder than anything I have ever experienced.
     
  9. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    If this is the end for my dad, is it not too soon? He has had alzheimers we think about 5 years now. I actually think it is lewy bodies. He is now 72. I thought alzheimers went on for a lot longer usually than 5 years?
     
  10. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    My father passed away last night of a chest infection. Heartbroken x
     
  11. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,953
    Female
    London
    I'm so sorry for your loss...your Dad is at peace now and in no pain.
     
  12. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,302
    Merseyside
    Oh I'm so sorry. Sending you love & hugs xx
     
  13. mumsgone

    mumsgone Registered User

    Dec 23, 2015
    925
    end of life care

    you have to be strong and insist on what you believe to be the best place for your dad to be. My mum became like your dad with no ability to swallow. I insisted she stay in the nursing home and was not to be taken to hospital to be put on a drip. I believed she was in pain so made sure she had painkilling patches. It is really hard to watch someone you love dissapearing before your eyes. If you feel he should be home go for it and get doctor to put palliative care in place. much love
     
  14. overwhelmed1

    overwhelmed1 Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    74
    Chester
    Thank you so much for your kind words. Means so much x I adored my lovely, funny, brave dad so much.
     
  15. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    647
    NW UK


    I am sorry to hear your news.
    Sending more hugs xxxx
     
  16. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    I have just come across this thread - too late to be of any help but just wanted to offer my sincere condolences, overwhelmed1. I'm so sorry. Wishing you strength to get through the days to come. xx
     
  17. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,619
    USA
    Overwhelmed, please accept my condolences on the death of your father. I will be thinking of you and your family at this very difficult time.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Regards,

    Amy
     
  18. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,036
    Durham
    I am so sorry, please accept my sympathy x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  19. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,711
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to read of your dad's passing. Sending my condolences and wishing you strength. c


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  20. CeliaThePoet

    CeliaThePoet Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    614
    Buffalo, NY, USA
    I'm so sorry for your loss.
     

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