Help! I'm new to all this.

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
AmandaLol :) oh please hijack this thread with your wedding, how romantic, it be lovely to follow your journey to you wedding day, while you share the your up and downs with us about your mother AZ , ( I do hope I have worded that ok )

Thank you daughter and jenniferpa For your replies
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
I don't want to be accused of highjacking the thread to talk about my wedding
why not start a new "Greek Wedding" thread in the Tea room?

we could have a virtual raki in celebration.....

[PS I'm up for kleftiko at the virtual reception but no retsina please!]
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Brucie

I just loved the grandmother in that film, just like my mother , she must of had AZ as she keep wondering next door and the neighbours bring her home :D
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,785
Kent
Regarding the struggle of whether to tell or not to tell, I can only say it should be left to the close family members of each individual to decide when.

We didn`t tell my husband when he was first diagnosed. Then as his condition deteriorated, I could see how frightened he was, and decided to tell him. It wasn`t the shock I`d expected it to be. It was a label he could apply to his fear.

Now, whenever he has a really bad time, and may be totally unreasonable, when the situation eases, he is contrite. Then I say `It`s not your fault, it`s the Alzheimers`. Although it doesn`t make him feel better, he is absolved from the responsibility for his behaviour and it somehow takes the pressure off him.

We can only do our best. No-one trains us or prepares us for this. It really is trial and error. Sharing experiences doesn`t solve the problem but it certainly helps.

Sylvia
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Amanda1954 said:
I'm just a bit worried about putting the not so good news on paper as it may be rubbing it in if she reads it over and over again. Some things might be good to forget.
Thanks for sharing your good news too!!!

If this helps at all my mum is going through a phase of wanting to be 'reminded' about all the ops and treatment (non-dementia) she's been through ..... I've worried myself that this is a bit different than the usual 'writing things down for her'...... Her thoughts:'I want to be able to tell people all that's been wrong with me.' I've come round to seeing it as her sense of pride in all she has fought before ..... so in a sense it's perhaps not the 'slightly macabre' I first thought but a source of strength and self-esteem for her ( and again her words: 'It reassures me I'm not just imagining things' - ooh what gems she can come out with!!!) ... who knows what other things she may be able to cope with that I may be getting totally wrong???

Sorry, that probably makes no sense ... but I know I go along with things to please her often worrying it's not what I might chose for her myself ... and then realise she was right ... and still has that right to chose ... except if I think she's in danger..... oh, it's all so damned complex, isn't it?

Sorry, that seemed like a good idea to post - now I'm not sure it's any help to anyone at all??? Oh well, there I go again.....

Love, Karen, x
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Sorry, that seemed like a good idea to post - now I'm not sure it's any help to anyone at all??? Oh well, there I go again.....
Seemed like a good thing for you to have posted, to me at least.
probably makes no sense
In a community of people who have not been exposed to caring for someone with dementia, perhaps, but I think it makes fine sense to me, and we have all probably been there, interpreting things in the same way.