My partner was diagnosed quite a while ago with mixed dementia and he continued to live on his own with my support. But I then needed to move into his house to care for him amongst the hoarding and poor state of repair. Plus stairs which suffering from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which has a multitude of problems including constant pain and problems moving. I coped there for 4 months until I managed to move us into a single story bungalow. In his former home he wasn’t able to enjoy the garden as it was a cluttered disordered mess which I think he found too overwhelming to deal with despite being of his own making over many years. The garden where we are now is just a mound of earth, with obvious possibilities. However, doing anything out there seems to be a trigger for my partner’s augmentative, unreasonable and nasty side to emerge. The first time it happened it really unnerved me as he was physically abusive and didn’t seem to appreciate my distress. I rang Alzheimer’s helpline and they said to get somewhere safe and phone the police. Which is obviously not something I wanted to do. He did calm down eventually with no memory of what happened. I tried to encourage him to go out the garden again, he very soon became like last time so I ended up going out for a while and upon my return he’d forgotten everything and calmed down. Today I just went to sit in the garden to complete some paperwork and out of guilt as the dogs wanted to play. Again my partner started to be argumentative, being unreasonable and nasty. I wasn’t even attempting to involve him or be doing anything gardening related. The dilemma I have is he has always enjoyed being outdoors, he was a brilliant, knowledgable gardener. I would like him to be able to enjoy the garden but can not cope with his behaviour when we go out there. He only appears content when watching television or listening to the radio. But of which are quite sedentary activities. He also has days where he sleeps a lot. I want to get him doing more but anything that bears anything complex or hobbies he used to do he gets seemingly distressed. What should I do? I am on a waiting list for an Alzheimer’s companion for a couple of hours a week and a singing group. But I worry that his lack of activities will make his decline quicker but I either can’t get him to engage with the activity or he becomes nasty. Sorry it’s a long one. Any advice appreciated.