Hello
- Thread starter Pamlia
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- alzheimer's disease
Hi Pam...Hope this finds you well! Each day is different ..yet the same...I can't make any sense of it some times. The repetition..the blank eyes when I ask him to do something...the questions like what do I wear? What can I eat?have I eaten?where's my mam?can I go to bed?
Unless you live with the person with dementia you have no clue what its like.. so when his son visits..for 20 minutes and says 'he's confused' I want to scream.
Unless you live with the person with dementia you have no clue what its like.. so when his son visits..for 20 minutes and says 'he's confused' I want to scream.
Hi, I can imagine why you want to scream, you are living day to day with the repetition, the questions and the blank eyes, together with lots more I'm sure - as many of us are.
I'm glad you have found the forum, I have been using it for 6 months.
My mum was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia at the end of March, but she lives 300 miles from me. My stepdad is her main carer, but I do speak to her every day and visit regularly.
I have just spent 3 weeks with my mum and all of your descriptions of your husbands behaviours are similar to my mum's, it is exhausting. I found it intense, sad and hard to remain patient. My stepdad is in denial and minimises my mum's behaviour.
But I can return to my home & family after a visit.
I hope you have family and friends that you can call on for support, as you need a break.
All you full time carers, including you Pamlia are amazing, be proud of yourselves.
Pamlia keep posting, you will find it helpful.
I'm glad you have found the forum, I have been using it for 6 months.
My mum was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia at the end of March, but she lives 300 miles from me. My stepdad is her main carer, but I do speak to her every day and visit regularly.
I have just spent 3 weeks with my mum and all of your descriptions of your husbands behaviours are similar to my mum's, it is exhausting. I found it intense, sad and hard to remain patient. My stepdad is in denial and minimises my mum's behaviour.
But I can return to my home & family after a visit.
I hope you have family and friends that you can call on for support, as you need a break.
All you full time carers, including you Pamlia are amazing, be proud of yourselves.
Pamlia keep posting, you will find it helpful.
Welcome @Pamlia
It’s tough being the main carer and most of us understand that. Do you get any help or have you to manage on your own.
All carers need a break, a regular break and I know it`s not easy but well worth trying to find someone.
It took me a long time to accept this. People here were telling me for ages to get some respite care but I was too nervous about my husbands reaction, thinking I would get the backlash after the carer had left.
It wasn’t like that at all and the few hours breaks I had really helped.
It’s tough being the main carer and most of us understand that. Do you get any help or have you to manage on your own.
All carers need a break, a regular break and I know it`s not easy but well worth trying to find someone.
It took me a long time to accept this. People here were telling me for ages to get some respite care but I was too nervous about my husbands reaction, thinking I would get the backlash after the carer had left.
It wasn’t like that at all and the few hours breaks I had really helped.
Hello again @Pamlia
I wonder if the following link will help your frustration when communicating with your husband. It`s not perfect but has helped a lot of carers
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
I wonder if the following link will help your frustration when communicating with your husband. It`s not perfect but has helped a lot of carers
Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired
The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
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