Hello

[GridNorth]

My name is Alan and I am my wifes carer. We are both 76. She has PCA which is a rare form of alzheimers and she is getting gradually worse. We live near Ross-On-Wye but I am having difficulty finding a care home that does respite care. I'm registering in the hope that when I am faced with difficult situations there is somewhere I can turn to for support. i.e. this morning for the first time she refused to take a shower. OK normally but she is also unfortunately incontinent. Not really a surprise when she sleeps for 15 hours, I would be too. As an example how shoul I deal with this. Should I not let her sleep for so long for example?

Alan

 

[Kevinl]

Not exactly a northerner but I'll let you off that, showering was something we did together, you wash my back and I'll wash yours, inclusive rather than caring, we brushed our teeth not me brushing hers, I just helped her out.
PCA is a diagnosis, caring is the reality, my wife was early onset, mixed, atypical Alzheimer's, so what, getting her into the shower, eating properly, keeping her clean I feel isn't diagnosis specific.
Where are my manners, hello and welcome Alan. K

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @GridNorth and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your wife. I don't know anything about PCA but from experience with my wife (she has Alzheimer's Disease) I know that personal hygiene and care can be a major challenge. My wife was never a shower person, always preferring a bath. Then that stopped as she claimed to have a 'proper' wash at the washbasin. If only a wash could be completed in 10 seconds flat I might have believed her. In her final months at home I gave up and relied on the once weekly visits of her carer/befriender who could sometimes persuade her to have a bath.

I am not sure that any of the above is helpful in your situation. It could be that the sensation of water when showering is what your wife doesn't like. A bath or old style flannel wash done with your assistance might be possible (if she doesn't mind you helping).

How does dementia affect washing and dressing?

Find out why washing and dressing can become difficult for people with dementia, and get practical tips to help with washing, bathing, dressing and personal grooming.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

I don't know that there is necessarily a link between sleeping for a long time and incontinence. As dementia progresses the person will tend to sleep more. Other members may be able to give you better suggestions. Do come here to ask any questions, share issues with people who truly understand and, if you need to, let off steam.

Toilet problems, continence and dementia

Read our guide to toilet problems and incontinence, including causes, solutions and how this might affect a person with dementia.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @GridNorth.

Lots of good advice above. I hope you can find respite care for your wife. It’s hard doing everything by yourself.

I’m glad you have found this forum. You’ll find lots of understanding and support here.