Hello

[KazDor]

Hi. My name is Karen and my husband is Rob. My father has just been diagnosed with dementia, although we have been aware that his memory was deteriorating over the last 2-3 years but my parents were not ready to seek diagnosis. I believe my mum also has early stages, although she presents in a different way to him, muddling words and sentences as well as her memory becoming poorer. She has always been an avid scrabble player but now finds it difficult to find any words from her letters. She will definitely not accept that she has any issues.
She has no patience with my dad and can be quite unpleasant at times. Although she knows he has dementia, she makes no allowances for him and still expects him to do everything he previously did for her. If he can’t she calls him stupid, or worse. I worry about dad, but as we both work, can’t keep an eye on them all the time and they are still managing at home ok So definitely don’t need care currently. I just help with finances or anything they ask for. Anyone else had a similar situation?

 

[Kevinl]

Hello and welcome. Anger can be a way of grieving or fear of what the future my hold. Just a thought.
K

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @KazDor.

I’m really sorry to hear about your mum and dad. It’s so sad. @Kevinl makes a good point.

 

[Louise7]

Hi Karen @KazDor and welcome. Sorry to hear about your dad's recent diagnosis, it must be such a difficult situation for you to deal with. It does sound as though your mum is struggling, and displaying symptoms that may be dementia related. It's common to not accept that there is anything wrong but perhaps it may be helpful to get her GP to check her over if possible? Letting the GP know what is happening, and asking them if they could perhaps call your mum in for something like a 'well woman' check up, might get the ball rolling in relation to either getting her diagnosed or ruling out any other health problems that may be causing the symptoms. I can understand why you are worried about your dad and even if you don't feel that a carer is needed at present perhaps maybe consider things like getting a befriender in, or even see if there is a day club etc in the area that your mum and dad could visit and receive some support? Your parent's local authority adult social care team should be able to provide details of support available locally if you feel that this would help the situation, and you might find the link below helpful too. This is a friendly supportive group and others who have been in a similar situation will hopefully be along to share their experiences.

Find support near you

Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

www.alzheimers.org.uk