Hello

[ValerieA]

Hi everyone. My partner has "cognitive issues" that have become increasingly severe in the last couple of years. He's been referred to a local memory clinic and, following a nurse assessment, the consultant has told me that he thinks OH has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Despite being referred back in May, partner hasn't yet had a face to face meeting with a specialist because the doctors insist on an OT assessment first, and there is a very long waiting list for that. I find it frustrating that we can't get a diagnosis which would mean that he could then start on whatever medication is appropriate.
Meanwhile, Partner just says that "he's always had a bad memory" and brushes aside anything that suggests he is confused (like not knowing that 4.30 am is morning, not afternoon) as "an easy mistake to make."

He's still pleasant and kind to me, though he's lost any interest in how my life is going, including the fact that I'm not well and am waiting for an urgent hospital appointment. We don't really chat any more the way we used to - I make conversation and he may or may not join in. He's less kind to, and often very critical of one of his sons who does a lot to help him. I miss the person he used to be, but I imagine thatmany people here are used to that feeling! Meanwhile, I'm grateful to have found a forum where people can share experiences and advice.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @ValerieA

Even pre covid it took a long time to get a diagnosis and I do sympathise with the time you have had to wait.

All you can do for now is keep reminding the doctor you are still waiting and are concerned your partner is not getting the treatment he deserves.

I would stop mentioning it to him. He sounds in denial even though he knows deep down something is wrong.

The changes in behaviour towards you are very upsetting and hard to take I know but it`s a symptom of dementia and little can be done about it.

I hope you will stay with us. There is a lot of understanding on Talking Point and it might help you get through this very difficult time.

 

[ValerieA]

Thank you Sylvia. It's helpful just to see what other people are going through and how they are coping.

 

[canary]

Hello @ValerieA and welcome to the club no-one wants to join!

I think weve all been there with the things you describe - it can be very frustrating at times.
Have a mooch around the forum and feel free to join in the conversations. If you want to talk about anything specific or ask questions on a particular topic, do start another thread so that people wont miss it.
Also, when you are reading other peoples stories, do remember that not everything that you read will happen to you or your partner
xx