Hi all,
Just registered yesterday and thought I should introduce myself as there seem to be many amazingly helpful people on this forum.
My Mum - whose only child I am - was diagnosed with Alzheimer's just over two years ago when she was (only) 61 and I was 21. For the last six to nine months she has been gradually getting worse. She can be completely fine (especially for people who don't know her well) for days, but will also sometimes try to go shopping in the middle of the night or complain that it has been dark for days. Also, she has developed some sort of psychosis (at least that's what the doctor thinks it is) where she splits me up into several people - there is a 'good Tom', a 'bad Tom', a 'little Tom' and many others. Sometimes we will have a completely normal conversation but then she will ask me how 'all the other Toms' are. On certain days, when she is very confused, she also has trouble realizing her relationship to other people - looking for her mother who died almost 25 years ago. Luckily, there haven't been any problems relating to spatial orientation - she can find her way around town without any problems, although, of course, if she is in a vaguely foreign environment that goes through the window.
Currently she is living on her own in a medium-sized city. She has one ex-colleague and several neighbours keeping an eye on her, but I am living far away - she is in Germany and I am in the UK. She divorced my father about fifteen years ago, but he (and his new partner) do look after her from time to time. There are no other living relatives. I am not really in a very secure position myself - still a student and having no idea what I am going to be able to do after finishing at university (doing a PhD at the moment).
Mum is absolutely refusing any care arrangements. Various doctors and social services have been very supportive but have had to admit that they don't really know what is best for her - they are suggesting just to try various different things. For now, she has a care agency looking after her twice a week for a few minutes - that was all she would tolerate and we are hoping that it will make her get used to having someone come and see her. Obviously she doesn't need constant care quite yet, but she does need someone to look after her, making sure she eats, various practical things are sorted out, etc. Trying to get her to accept any help (even down to a cleaning lady) is a constant fight. I have been making frequent trips back home, but they are always overshadowed by me having to arrange things behind her back whilst at the same time trying to get her to gradually agree to things I am doing for her. Of course, there is the issue of me feeling guilty for not being able to see her frequently enough as well.
Anyway, that is enough for today. Thanks for listening to my ramblings if you have managed to read this far. It was nice being able to write it all down and get it off my chest.
Tom
Just registered yesterday and thought I should introduce myself as there seem to be many amazingly helpful people on this forum.
My Mum - whose only child I am - was diagnosed with Alzheimer's just over two years ago when she was (only) 61 and I was 21. For the last six to nine months she has been gradually getting worse. She can be completely fine (especially for people who don't know her well) for days, but will also sometimes try to go shopping in the middle of the night or complain that it has been dark for days. Also, she has developed some sort of psychosis (at least that's what the doctor thinks it is) where she splits me up into several people - there is a 'good Tom', a 'bad Tom', a 'little Tom' and many others. Sometimes we will have a completely normal conversation but then she will ask me how 'all the other Toms' are. On certain days, when she is very confused, she also has trouble realizing her relationship to other people - looking for her mother who died almost 25 years ago. Luckily, there haven't been any problems relating to spatial orientation - she can find her way around town without any problems, although, of course, if she is in a vaguely foreign environment that goes through the window.
Currently she is living on her own in a medium-sized city. She has one ex-colleague and several neighbours keeping an eye on her, but I am living far away - she is in Germany and I am in the UK. She divorced my father about fifteen years ago, but he (and his new partner) do look after her from time to time. There are no other living relatives. I am not really in a very secure position myself - still a student and having no idea what I am going to be able to do after finishing at university (doing a PhD at the moment).
Mum is absolutely refusing any care arrangements. Various doctors and social services have been very supportive but have had to admit that they don't really know what is best for her - they are suggesting just to try various different things. For now, she has a care agency looking after her twice a week for a few minutes - that was all she would tolerate and we are hoping that it will make her get used to having someone come and see her. Obviously she doesn't need constant care quite yet, but she does need someone to look after her, making sure she eats, various practical things are sorted out, etc. Trying to get her to accept any help (even down to a cleaning lady) is a constant fight. I have been making frequent trips back home, but they are always overshadowed by me having to arrange things behind her back whilst at the same time trying to get her to gradually agree to things I am doing for her. Of course, there is the issue of me feeling guilty for not being able to see her frequently enough as well.
Anyway, that is enough for today. Thanks for listening to my ramblings if you have managed to read this far. It was nice being able to write it all down and get it off my chest.
Tom