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Hello from sarah271074


Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
hi, my mum who lives with me has been diagonised with vascular dementia about 3months ago, and to be honest im not sure what to expect ,I have bought a book explaining the stages etc but you read so many different things and you just don't know whats right, mum has days when she doesn't seem to be in the room with the rest of us and seems miserable, I was hoping that perhaps you could give me a insight into what might happen ,


Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
South Staffordshire
Hi Sarah and welcome to TP. It is early days for you and your Mum and it does take a while to 'get your head around' the diagnosis you have been given. You must be devastated and your poor Mum, we can only guess how she is feeling right now. She may get depressed after receiving such news. She will need your support and consideration. The main thing to remember is that the dementia is causing the problems and Mum has not had a personality transplant. You will be spending a lot of time reassuring her.

There is no set order in which symptoms and behaviour present themselves. It is best to take each day as it comes and deal with what happens when it happens. Time scale too is so very different. Some sufferers deteriorate quickly, some jog along steadily and others go on for many years managing very well with the disease.

If you have not already done so, now is the time to get all her affairs in order. Setting up a LPA so that when the time comes you have her written approval to take over her affairs and act on her behalf. Making her will out too so everything is clear. Really it is just insurance for the future. If she drives then the DVLA need to be told. It will not necessarily mean she has to stop driving. My husband drove for a further 4 years before he had to surrender his licence.

Keep coming onto the forum Sarah and ask about anything that you are unsure about. We are very open on here and all questions you will ask will have been asked before and all of them have been answered. Sometimes you will get advice as to how someone has dealt with what you are dealing with and the advice will be wide and varied. What works for one will not always work for someone else. With dementia there is not one hat to fit all heads.

Take care and take one day at a time.


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Last edited:


Registered User
Dec 28, 2011
Sarah. Welcome to TP and can I echo what Jay has already said. My Mum too had vascular dementia. She was upset when we had the diagnosis. I lived with her and I told her not too worry, I knew it wasn't what she had wanted to hear from the Doctor but she wasn't alone and that I would look after her. I arranged the POA while she was still able to make the decision which made things easier monetary wise.

Yes we had bad days but I also had special moments with her even on the day she died. Don't try to be a saint and then beat yourself up when you're not, you are human. Just come here to TP to offload, ask questions and share. I don't know what I would have done without my TP friends here who knew exactly what I was feeling even when I thought the thoughts I was having were just to dreadful to tell my family. Take each day as it come.