Hello from Jules 7

jules 7

Registered User
May 31, 2006

I Don't know where to begin, but have registered as I felt maybe I could do with being able to converse with other carers about what was happening in my life at the moment. I am 40 years old and have really been brought up by my grand parents. They have not had a happy marriage but have stuck at it for over 60 years. My nan is 86 and my gramps 87. Nan is a spritely, mentally agile lady who has not loved grandad for a very long time and has resented his decline into the dark world of dementia with all its complications. She recently had enough and left him telling me that meals on wheels and carers would be calling and that social sevices did not want me to interfere so they could assess how he coped. Well, we are very close and the upshot was he could not as he has problems with his bowels and ended up in a considerable state. I was devastated and did all I could. When the social services called they ended up taking him to a mental health unit-so scary for me to visit at first and he has been there for three weeks. I have got used to seeing him in that environment but am heart broken at the propspect that he will not be able to come home. I understand that his needs will be met in a residential home and I have found a lovely place for him but find it hard to see the person I love sdo much disappearing in front of me-it really is the long goodbye, and will have to adjust to being with him in a place other than his home-I hope it gets easier as time passes....any hints?
Jules7:confused: :p ;)


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Hi Jules welcome to TP.

I hope I can word this right; you have posted in the wrong thread to get a good response to your quotation , you can start a tread in the main support for carer with dementia forum at the top of the main page press thread , sure a moderator will explain how to do it much better then I


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Jules,
Yes, I think it does get easier. My mum went into a Nursing Home in January, and it is not as painful now as it was. I think what you have to do is accept that this is the situation that you are in, and how do you make the best of it. I take my mum out for walks in her wheelchair, I sit with her, I take her up to her room and we watch a DVD together. She has moved house, the Nursing Home is her new home, and that is how I have to view it.

How is your nan? It must have been a very difficult decision for her to make; do you think that it was easier for her to make the decision to leave, rather than make the decision to place your grandad in a home?

Don't worry about where you have posted, if the moderators think that a new thread is needed, they'll move it, what matters is that you posted on here. So welcome, and looking forward to getting to know you better.
Best wishes,

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