Hello - been trying to avoid using these sites as too scared of what I'll read :-(

Jasper338

New member
Jan 24, 2024
2
0
Hi I'd like to introduce myself. I come from a family with other brother and sisters. Both parents are still alive and live very close to me. I'm single and live with my adult daughter. I'm very close to my parents. My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia and I think alzheimers about 2 years ago. My way of dealing with it was to try and believe it wasn't real and wasn't happening to us as my dad was such a strong man. He's nearly 80 and up until a couple of years ago really active and fit for his age. I didn't want to dwell on the future and sort of thought I'd deal with things as they happened.

Dad slowly started to get a bit more forgetful over time and just doing silly things like putting things away in daft places or filling up the tea/coffee cadies with water when making a cuppa! He also got a bit restless at night but it wasn't really a problem as he would get up and just come downstairs and keep busy.

This all changed just before Christmas when he fell and fractured his neck. He was in hospital for nearly 2 weeks and hated it. It was a horrible time. The hospital were useless and just kept moving him from place to place. We finally got him home about 2 weeks ago but he seems to have changed drastically and acting so differently. We're hoping it's the change and the trauma he went through. He's really confused and forgetting who people are etc. I wondered if anyone else had any experience of dementia progressing this rapidly. Really need to talk to someone as feel so lost :-(
 

Skylark/2

Registered User
Aug 22, 2022
398
0
Hi@Jasper338. Welcome, pleased you have found this invaluable website.
sadly a stay in hospital can be detrimental to a person with dementia, the noise, strangers, a different routine all contribute. Hopefully he will slowly settle now he is home in familiar surroundings…..but there is no guarantee.
I hope you have got Attendance Allowance, POA for both Health and Finance , Social Services for assessments towards help and most importantly you are looking after your mental health. Also have you looked into Council Tax reduction if there are just your parents living in the family home I.e 2 people.
I am sure there will be people here who will come along with tips , advice and support with more experience than I can offer.
Good luck.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,251
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Jasper338. The sort of trauma your dad has been through, plus the hospital stay could well have advanced his dementia. I also wonder if your mum hasn't been telling every thing about your dad's dementia and it was actually more advanced than you thought before he went into hospital. The good news is that he might get back to more where he was before as he recovers from his accident, but maybe not to quite where he was before.
@Skylark/2 has given you some good places to start with getting support for both your parents, but I wonder if this might help you find some support near them too.
This is a very friendly forum, so I'm glad you've found us. I'm sure others will be along with their tips and suggestions shortly.
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
2,034
0
Your father may be suffering from Delirium as a result of his accident and hospital stay. This might resolve but he might not get back to his previously baseline. Only time will tell. Be vigilant for any signs of infection. That can really cause a downturn in cognition and behaviour.

Like @Sarasa, I wonder whether your father's dementia was more advanced than you thought. Your mother will have been 'compensating' for his cognitive deficits and might have been shielding you from the true extent of his decline. It's not uncommon for an adult child to be shocked about how bad their relative is when s/he has had to step in and provide care for some reason.
 

Jasper338

New member
Jan 24, 2024
2
0
Hi@Jasper338. Welcome, pleased you have found this invaluable website.
sadly a stay in hospital can be detrimental to a person with dementia, the noise, strangers, a different routine all contribute. Hopefully he will slowly settle now he is home in familiar surroundings…..but there is no guarantee.
I hope you have got Attendance Allowance, POA for both Health and Finance , Social Services for assessments towards help and most importantly you are looking after your mental health. Also have you looked into Council Tax reduction if there are just your parents living in the family home I.e 2 people.
I am sure there will be people here who will come along with tips , advice and support with more experience than I can offer.
Good luck.
Hi many thanks for that. He has got Attendance Allowance, I've got Power of Attorney etc. It's just the emotional support I guess at the minute. I've avoided looking at these sites as scared of the long term for all of us. It's been a horrible time for us all. I'm hoping the stay in hospital has triggered this drastic change :-(