1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. lemon lips

    lemon lips Registered User

    Apr 9, 2008
    3
    essex
    hi everyone,

    i am new here and have only just joined this evening. the reason i have joined is beause of my concernes over my Dad, over the past 2 years things have begun to get progresivly worse, it started with just very small things but now regually forgets his only 2 grandchildrens names, has become obsessive over his house keys and sleeps with them under his pillow, if my mum goes out shopping for an hour he will pace up and down the street waiting for her having forgotten where she has gone. the most recent thing is Dad becoming verbally aggressive towards his family, my Dad has always been a complete gentleman, very old school so this is very unlike him. my mum has now stopped going out so that she can be with him but this is putting a great strain on her and she regually cries. we have spoken of the options, GP, tests etc but he wont have any of it. the list goes on and i feel a bit lost as to what to do next. mum does'nt want anything said from the GP as it will feel final...........so here i am! good to meet you all
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi lemon lips, welcome to TP.

    You really are in a difficult position, aren't you?

    It's not uncommon for someone with your dad's symptoms to deny that anything is wrong, but it is quite unusual that your mum also doesn't want to know.

    They're both scared, of course, it's a scary business, fearing that you or your partner may have dementia, and you're going to have to reassure your mum that you'll support her.

    Are they in any danger at present? If so, you could have a word with social services, but they couldn't do anything if your mum refused to talk to them.

    You could also have a word with their GP yourself, perhaps he'd be willing to call them in for an MOT, and see what he thinks.

    I can't think of anything else at the moment, probably others will have some ideas to help you.

    Best wishes,
     
  3. andrear

    andrear Registered User

    Feb 13, 2008
    402
    Yorkshire
    Hi there and welcome to the wonderful of dementia

    Your story sounds like many I have read whilst being part of this site.
    I was telling mum and dad today that my son has just purchased a new piano. Its taken a lot of time to find one he and his partner like as they live abroad and are really setting up a new home.

    Dads reply was that his grandson played the piano - when? he never played at home - yes, he did = he played for nearly 16 years but dad can't remember any of it. He also played a number of other musical instruments and muym and dad went many a time to watch him play at various venues throughout the cojntry. No my dad doesn;t believe that his grandson every played.
    Andrea
     
  4. lemon lips

    lemon lips Registered User

    Apr 9, 2008
    3
    essex
    thanks

    hi

    thanks so much for that it finally feels good to get this of my chest rather than bury it. my mum and Dad have been married 50 years and i think she desperatly doeasnt want it to be real. Dad is lucky, mum is a born carer always helping others. have spoken to the GP and have wrote a letter to him asking for some help, i will take your idea and ask him to get him in for an MOT. i have also taken it into my own hands and spoke to my mums close family tonight so they are fully aware of what is going on , mainly so she has some support other than me as i am an only child.
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Well done, lemon lips, you're doing everything you can. I hope the GP is willing to co-operate.
     

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