Health care

[Fmarg]

I have always taken care of finances ,banking ,paying household bills and so on .I want to be able to have some control over my husbands advanced but nor diagnosed deminca. Health needs . Do I need a Power of Attorney




for this or am I able to have my wishes fulfilled on his behalf in future. Bank account , rent and council tax ,water rates and all utilities are in joint names Most Social security payments are for a couple over 80 except for DLA separate allowances

 

[DeeCee7]

Hello @Fmarg if I understand your post correctly, you already deal with the family finances but want to have similar control over your husband’s health needs. You have already mentioned in your posts that he has advanced dementia, although not officially diagnosed, I think it is too late to apply for LPA, but as next of kin you will have a say in his health care plans. I think there is also something called Deputyship, hopefully someone will be along to explain this further.

 

[Fmarg]

Thank you for this I shall look up deputyship tomorrow never heard of it .

 

[Fmarg]

This seems very expensive and complicated to apply for has anyone on here had experience with a deputyship application

 

[canary]

Hell @Fmarg

I applied for (and got) deputyship for my mum. I was told by Social Services that someone had to apply for it and if I didnt want to do it then they would apply for themselves. I was warned, though, that if they applied then I wouldnt have any say over what happened to mums money, her bungalow or all her possessions. So I applied myself. I didnt use a solicitor, except for a free half hour where I was given a heads up about how to go about it. I found there was a fair bit of paper shuffling and, yes, it is more expensive than a POA, but I claimed the funding back from mums savings once I got deputyship and I found the paper shuffling complex, but doable. I contacted the Office of Public Guardians a couple of times with queries and found them helpful, but not easy to get through to.

I sold mums bungalow using the deputyship and looked after her money right up to the end. It was more complicated than administering POA, but I never regretted going for it.

Edit to mention that deputyship was only for finances. Deputyship for health and welfare is very rarely given, so I was advised not to apply for it. I found that doctors and other health professionals included me in discussions about mums health and I did not find it a big problem that I did not have either POA or deputyship for health.

 

[Fmarg]

thank you for this information seems to me that there’s is no point in applying for this . I already have control over all income and bills as I explained in a previous post. We don’t own our home so a POA for that is not needed But I was concerned about my husband’s future care . I now have a bigger problem that I would like some advice on .

my husband has bowl cancer and undiagnosed deminca . We have many tests to go through before they decide to operate . Every time I tell him we have another appointment he asked what’s wrong with him. When I tell him is a pre operation test for bowl cancer he is shocked . Is it possible for him to completely forget his condition . the hospital is aware he has memory problem but agree he can understand about concent in the moment even though he forgets any conversation almost as soon as the test is over . Will the hospital give him a memory examination to certify the extent of his deminca before any operation is booked and could this result in the opperation being refused .

 

[Jessbow]

What concerns do you have that a peice of paper might influence?

If your husband has bowel cancer , youll need to be guided by the Dr, his consultant.
Naturally you want him to have whatever treatment is out there- but the medical opinion maybe different.
There is no peice of paper that will MAKE a consultant operate if they think its inadvisable.

Its perfectly normal with dementia for him to forget his diagnosis, and be surprised every time you tell him.
Thats very hard. Treatment for cancer is always gruelling. I think i'd weigh up the senario and wonder if the best way forward, could you nurse him through chemo etc?

 

[Fmarg]

I will nurse and care for him to hell and back I am concerned if his deminca is too far advanced they might not operate due to added risk of becoming worse . It’s not a piece of paper it’s knowing what happens if they don’t operated because of findings

 

[maisiecat]

I will nurse and care for him to hell and back I am concerned if his deminca is too far advanced they might not operate due to added risk of becoming worse . It’s not a piece of paper it’s knowing what happens if they don’t operated because of findings

Hi @Fmarg someone will have to sign a consent for the surgery. It might be worth checking that they are happy for you to do that without a health POA otherwise your husband will put through tests for no reason.
Next of kin used to be able to sign consent but some hospitals will now only accept POA

 

[Fmarg]

My husband is compliant with all tests and is able to sign the consent forms as he is aware in the moment of his cancer and wants it removed . My worry is if the memory worsens will he still be in a position to consent to outher treatment . Going by the
hospitals involvement with me I think they will allow me to sign on his behalf

 

[canary]

If your husband is still able to understand about any procedure in the moment, then he is still able to sign the consent form, even if he forgets afterwards.

I think you will have to have a very open conversation with the consultant about the pros and cons of cancer treatment and what will happen in either case. Quite often, especially if the treatment is quite aggressive, people with dementia find it incredibly hard and it may be better not to treat the cancer.

 

[SherwoodSue]

I think I would write a letter and send it to your husbands hospital consultant ( via the secretary)
Legally they shouldn’t allow someone who lacks capacity to sign a consent form (but that’s their worry not yours)

it sounds like both you and your husband want this surgery to happen?

My aunt had advanced dementia and it was decided by all who loved her and medics etc that the surgery wasn’t in her own interest and treatment focussed on keeping her comfortable

Prepare yourself that folks who have early dementia or mild cognitive impairment may get delirium in hospital (look this up)

I don’t want to frighten you, but it can come as a shock otherwise.

I wish you and he well. Xx

 

[Fmarg]

Yes you are correct I do want him to be well .I know the memory will worsen over time and I will lose him in the end to this wicked condition. I do know about the delirium risk but against him suffering the pain of untreated cancer or discomfort of alternative therapy the scales seems to favour an operation . I nursed my mother for many years with advanced demonic memory loss so am not fazed but what this involves . All I want is for him to live or slip away as peacefully and pain free as possible . Has anyone faced this choice before?

 

[Louise7]

Hello @Fmarg If a decision is made not to undertake treatment for cancer, for whatever reason, it doesn't mean that the person would be left in pain, and without any support, as the Palliative care team would be involved. I wonder if the Macmillan link below might be helpful for you? It contains some good information and resources relating to supporting someone with cancer who also has dementia, and Macmillan also have a helpline that you can call for support and to discuss any concerns:

Cancer and dementia

Find information about supporting someone with cancer and dementia. It includes care options, treatments, managing symptoms, and how to get help and support.

www.macmillan.org.uk

 

[Fmarg]

Thank you for this I will contact them. We have a “way forward meeting” with the medical team on Tuesday . Hopefully then I will learn what the plan is. I know I worry myself sick with What Ifs. the site has been so helpful I am greatfull for all the advice