My Father has dementia and prostate cancer. Every Wednesday and Saturday, my Father goes to a day centre (Four hours is hardly a day). He practically runs to the mini bus, all smiles. When he's at home with us, we're run ragged. He's destructive, verbally abusive (swearing is about the only thing that is said clearly) and sometimes aggressive (just stopping short of our faces). Every time we try to help, he acts as though we're the enemy. We've started securing the garden gate so that he can't get at neighbours cars or property (He's walked into other peoples homes without warning). The neighbours are very good about it, but I think their patience is starting to wear thin. We have wind chimes above a door that leads into the basement, so that we can be alerted and stop him from going to the toilet on the floor and small hidden garden gnomes that whistle when someone uses one of the doors to leave the room. I doubt that he will be at home with us for Xmas, we're struggling to cope, he needs full time care. My Mum has been dealing with relatives with dementia or visiting nursing homes for the last 20 years or so. She does not give her needs the attention that they should have. I'm worried that my Father's illness is sucking the life out of her and me. I'm going to give the Carers Advice Line a call tomorrow. I need to know if there is anything else that can help.